The way you should be loved

Chapter Sixteen

For months I have been moping and sulking even at work I have been crying. Everywhere reminded me of him. I missed him. He broke it off as it was easier as we didn't know what would happen in a year. Maybe he would find someone on his travels or I would find someone here. It was Christmas time before I met someone new. 

It started at the Christmas party. I didn't want to go but was made to go by my parents. It would be a fun night as you won't feel so blue. Yeah, that's right it's been months since I broke with my boyfriend. Well, he broke it off the travel the world.

Now at the party, I sat in the corner watching everyone from the company have fun with their spouses, partners, boyfriends and girlfriends. Then there's me sat all alone. I don't even have a sibling to talk to either. Not like the Knights who I watch chatting away with each other. I see a couple of pairs of eyes look at me from afar. Jon and Sharon who know me from work. I don't know the others. I look away from their glances. Even seeing them there breaks my heart as I can see Jordan standing there with them. I hear a chair go.

"Hey, why are you sitting here on you're own".

" I don't really feel in the mood to party that's all".

"Come on. It's been four months now".

" But it still hurts OK Jon" I reply "Just watching you guys over there, hurts. I can picture him there with you".

" Why don't you eat something, Bethan?". Noticing a big glass of wine next to me.

"Not hungry".

" But drinking on an empty stomach isn't good for you either".

"I will be fine OK".

" You sure".

"Yes," I notice Sharon coming over now. "Have you heard from him. Where is he now?".

" I haven't heard anything for a month or two".

"Me neither. The last I heard he was in Croatia" Sharon said.

" He was going to move onto the far east in a month or two. That's last I heard from him" replied Jon.

"He's having too much fun then".

" Really don't know" replied Jon sadly "He hasn't gotten hold of mom either. And this worries her".

" You miss him then Jon".

"They were inseparable when they were kids did everything together" replied Sharon.

We chat for a while. I know they are just keeping me company as I am sitting on my own. Later Sharon leaves us to go over to their family. There is a band playing music across the room from us. I look and notice couples dancing.

"Come on let me cheer you up. Shall we dance?" Jon offers me his hand. I shake my head no. " Oh come on just one".

So that is it we are in the middle of all the couples. He is standing there in his black tux. Yeah, it's not your typical office do, we go all out tuxes and cocktail dresses. He takes my hand in his and he places his other hand on the small of my back. He brings me close as we start to dance. He's a good dancer as we move across the floor.

"Feeling any better".

" Not really" watching everyone else and trying not to look at Jon.

"Come on and look at me cos you are going to fall on your feet if you don't".

" OK". I look up and I don't see Jon standing there holding me, I see his brother Jordan. I shake my head and push away from him. "I can't do this".

" Why?".

"I can't. Just can't OK". I break away from him. Now in my view is Jon looking very worried and sad. I went back to my table where I have been all night. I carried on drinking the night away.

Later on, I was still sitting at the same table as earlier. I haven't moved at all. I really didn't want to be there. I told both Jon and Sharon to go and have fun. I will be fine here on my own. It doesn't take long for Jon to come over again.

"That's it I'm taking you home".

" No need Jon. I will wait for my parents" I answered back. I stare at my phone and another glass in my hand.

"Come on. I think you had enough to drink especially on an empty stomach".

"I am fine" I wave an arm at him to say I'm OK. But the room is spinning a little too fast. Maybe I have. Jon looks at my phone.

"You still love him, don't you?" noticing the photos on my phone of Jordan and I. I nod. "It will get easier honest".

"It doesn't feel like it".

" Don't look at them if it makes you feel bad".

"Can't help it. I miss him. I see him around every day through you, your sister even work". I start to tear up now.

" Come on let's go and take you home".

"Thank you Jon but I am fine here".

" Not taking no for an answer though". I sigh and stand up but I wobble. Jon is quick to catch me.  I hesitate on holding onto him and he chuckles. "I have many practices of catching drunk people went they wobble mainly my younger brother".

We soon arrive at my apartment, Jon helped me to my room. He looks at me standing there in my long cocktail dress.i can hear the clockwork going on in his head. Trying to work out what to do next.

" What do you want to do? I can leave for a minute and let you change".

"OK". He leaves the room for a minute and I wobbly change out of my dress into a comfy t-shirt and shorts. I got into bed and told Jon he can come in again. He walks in.

" You alright now, Bethan".

I nod snuggling into my bed. "Can you stay until I fall asleep please".

" OK".

"Thanks, Jon".

I hear him leave but only for a minute as I hear him come back again. As I slowly fall asleep I hear put a glass down and touch my arm.

" Jordan," I say.

I feel the hand move. "Please don't go Jordan". I grab the hand. " No J. I said don't go". 

I really don't feel it but the hand moves away from me. "J... Jordan..." Then I am out like a light and don't hear Jon leave.

Girl, you miss him, you still love him wherever he is...