Avenger Imagines/Preferences 😁

Natasha Romanoff- anymore.

Natasha Romanoff.
-anymore-
Warnings: cursing, extreme insanity, self harm and a massive disclaimer of suicide. there will be mentions of suicidal thoughts and attempts. please reach out if you experience any of this and get some help so you don't have to go through something so traumatising and horrible. i'm sorry if you ever have thoughts or if you try and do anything, if you hurt yourself or don't have anyone to talk to. i am always here.

*

"has anyone seen y/n?" Natasha asked, steeping into the kitchen with her arms folded over her chest. everyone shook their heads, sipping their coffees and looking up from their phones. "she didn't come down to dinner last night did she?"
"i haven't seen y/n since she came into the lab yesterday evening." tony claimed, eyebrows furrowed together. Natasha pulled out her phone from her back pocket, dialling the number of the person she couldn't find.

"hello?" she asked, a worried tone to her voice. the other line went dead almost immediately, the sound being like an old phone static. "she answered. but i couldn't hear anything." nat glanced at everyone else, eyes filled with fear.
"try her again." Wanda commented. Natasha nodded, clicking the ring button one again. she put the phone to ear, pacing around for a moment as the phone rang with the sound of the call ringing the other person.
"hello? can you hear me? y/n where are you?" she was listening deeply to the call, picking up every single movement that was being
made. Natasha's hand began to shake as she clutched the phone so tightly, panting heavily. she pulled the phone away, looking down at it in her hands. "i heard her crying. she was crying. she was somewhere crying her eyes out. we need to find her. she-" Nat's whole body began to tremble and she dropped the phone onto the floor, listening to the loud smash as some as the glass shattered.

"Nat.. she'll be ok.. y/n isn't one to do anything stupid like that. she's a stark.. we can just trace the call." Tony looked at everyone, the whole team seeming calm and not as worried as Natasha.
"no no. you don't know her like i do. she is stupid. she's ridiculous. she isn't well. she isn't right. there is something wrong with her you just don't notice because she's so messed up she's mastered the disguise of being normal. if she's somewhere alone god knows what she'll do to herself -" nat swallowed thickly, shakily taking a breath in.
"what do you mean, she isn't well?" Steve stood up, cocking an eyebrow.
"she's fucked up! she's fucking insane! she's never been right. her mind hasn't clocked properly, she's filled with voices and she sees things nobody else could ever imagine. it's uncountable how many times she's sat talking to someone who isn't there or sketching something mental. she doesn't eat because she says she gets guilt feelings after and she doesn't take care of her pretty looks because she says they tell her she doesn't deserve it!" Natasha snapped, tears unknowingly falling down her face.

"who's they?" tony asked, eyes tinted with worry. Natasha blinked, holding back her tears forcefully.
"whatever is in her head." she replied. everyone exchanged worried glances, confused faces amongst them too. "we have gotta find her guys. she'll do something. i know she will..."

*

humming to yourself, drawing unknown shapes and patterns in the dirt with your finger. the fog lingered in the air, which smelt heavily of smoke and toxins. your once white jeans and white shirt were covered in dirt and patches of dark red. you sighed heavily, looking over the cliff edge and smiling. you felt a gust of wind along your bare arms and sat up to catch the cold feeling through your whole body. with a pounding head, large slashes and an insane amount of blood dripping down your arms, you began to feel dizzy and fall out of consciousness.