-- Chasing Fate --

-VIII- (Jennie 2.0)

As time goes by, I used to how my everyday life will be. Wake up at 6 am, take bath and go downstairs to say good morning to the nuns and father Tommy, , cook our food when it's Wednesday and Saturday, sweep the little garden from time to time or 1 hour before the church will held a service.

I went to the clinic with Nurse Sandy and assist her with many things after lunch, go back to the church at 3 pm for the study with Sister Selena and other kids, roam around if there's still time , wait for dinner after an hour of thinking what to do with my life and think about the past and at 7 pm, prepare to sleep I was getting used to it but...

I'm not happy.

Until when I was 19 years old, I met this guy. I thought my world will only move around with Lisa, plans of finding her when I get a job, wondering if she was looking for me, If she missed me, what she does, does she have already someone special, does she forget about me..

Everything I did, there's always a time that I asked myself about her and her whereabouts. But I met Kai. He was also a student of Sister So Hee. Like me, Kai was living in an orphanage were all other kids came from. But not where I used to live. Well, I hope not or they will report me for sure.

Kai is a good guy. He is also a good-looking guy. After he got 15, the orphanage found him a single dad for his poster father. An old one actually that needs someone to look for him. A retired caretaker who was very fond of him. We got separated and after 5 years, he came back and
already graduated on a vocational school for poor people. And he was working as a personal body guard, thanks to his friend who helped him get the job.

Kai always visited me at the church. As a girl, It was sweet for me when he was sparing time for me to visit but inside of me, I felt that it was a disrespectful act against the church so by the age of 18, me and Kai became lovers secretly. I adore his efforts and his positive looks in life as an abandoned
child.

But the guilt of being in a secret relationship bothers me too much. At times like this, I always asked Lisa through a diary of mine as if I was talking to her and ask her for an advice if she was seeing me.

I always write things when I missed her. And it was a lot cause I missed her everyday and I think about her every hour of my life. But reality hits me and she was not here. I needed her and she was not here and I'm so fucking lonely.

Every time I think of her, our memories will brought me to a sudden smile but will turn into tears real quick because of the feeling of loneliness without her.

At the age of 18, I decided to go on a separate way and live outside the church. It broke my heart seeing Nurse Sandy who got a little older and now had 2 kids and Sister Chahee cried.

Sister Chahee: "you know the church will still be open for you RJ."

Ruby Jane: "I know sister and I'm so glad we've crossed paths and I'm so blessed to have you two in my childhood life. And I will do my best outside to give back all the things you gave me and will bring things I've learned."

I hug them one by one as they kissed me on my forehead and cheeks.

Nurse Sandy: "please visit Jeron and Tyrone when you're free okay?"

Ruby Jane: "of course Auntie Nurse. I will"

We bid goodbyes and when the church door closes, Kai appeared from behind the car waiting for me.

Yes. I decided to live with Kai on his apartment.

I don't had any issues about Kai's attitude towards me. He never hurt me nor touch me until I'm ready. He was an almost perfect man anyone would die to be with.
After 6 months being together, we decided to tie the knot in private. As in private where there were only me, him and the man in suit who will marry us. It's no big deal with me as I deeply understood that we lack of budget if we were having a visitor and that's fine with me at least, I have a ring that he bought outside the market. It's fine. Really.

Like what he said:

Kai: "what's important is that you and me and the baby"

I just smiled at him. I'm not that picky but marrying him was out of plan. Yes i love him. He was the ideal guy of any girl but marrying because there's only a baby inside?
yes. I'm pregnant with him but I'm not that desperate. Isn't it that marriage is supposed to be a two-sided agreement not being forced? I love him, I got pregnant by him but at least asked for my answer first right?

Kai: "hey baby wake up! i bought you your white dress at the market come on! we need to be in the capitol at 8 am"

He shake my arms to forcefully wake me up for an urgent appointment.

Ruby: "what's with the emergency wake up Kai? I'm tired from cleaning all your mess last night with your friends so please let me sleep"

Kai: "but RJ! Mayor Francis is waiting for us."

white dress. capitol. mayor Francis. WAIT!

My eyes suddenly open wide as realization hits my dizzy head. I'm half stood up and saw him wearing white shirt and black pants holding his white long sleeve trying to look at the mirror if the white long sleeves would
fit him and that's what my realization got me in a perfect score if I'm in an exam.

Ruby: "will you explain to me what was happening Kai? don't tell me--"

Kai: "then I will not tell you"

Ruby: "are you nuts Kai?! really? we're getting married and I just know this now?! I would accept it if this all white shits are for my funeral! I'm not going!"

I stood up and leave him dumbfounded. I pushed the door close with all my force to get me a glass of water just to calm myself.

Kai: "really Ruby? you want to born that baby without a biological father like us?"

Ruby: "you don't get the point Kai!!"

Kai: " then tell me what's the problem!!"

Ruby: "maybe telling me that we will get married a week before or at least a day before the wedding day Kai! is that hard ha?!"

Kai: "i know that Ruby but to be honest, I just thought of it last night and you were already sleeping"

Ruby: "what?!!"

He move a step forward and I took a step backward and he stopped himself for there's no point of getting near me because I will just do everything to get away from him.

Kai: "you don't have to worry baby, I fixed everything. I bought you a dress, a ring on the market and luckily, my friend boss is close to the mayor that will get this done but my boss is busy so he can't come but--"

Ruby: 'how about witnesses? I don't even have shoes for that dress! does it fit me? fuck Kai! I even need make ups for that!"

He laughed and it irritates me. I want to runaway for this mess but Kai is right. I don't want my child to be born without a father. Maybe Kai is referring for a break up if I will not marry him and I don't want that.

His hand wrapped around my waist and grinning like he won the debate. Yes he won. Because there's no chance for saying no.

Kai: "the most important thing is that you, me and the baby. we will be a one happy family Ruby Jane Kim"

Kim? fuck how can I forget! and why on earth did I just know just now that his surname was the same as my real surname!

fuck my life!

Ruby: "fuck! I don't have any legal documents Kai!"

Kai:"I already fixed that too. Boss Marco fixed that tomorrow and he paid for all the expenses even the money I used to buy the clothes we need. I even rented a car baby so please stop with all this tantrums and get dress okay?"

Fuck! no more turning back. But thinking how my life was a mess, parents died early and I left with an evil step-father? Maybe I was lucky enough to have a good husband and being a good looking husband was a bonus for me.