Anarchy Ladder - {H.S} au

Chapter 5 - Seven Minutes In Hell

Lennon

It has officially been an entire day since I found myself running through a dark field of grass, my wrist captured by Harry's fingers that nipped at my skin.

And we managed to get away from the two police officers who barely even stood a chance against us as we laughed our way through it, full of adrenaline as our feet barely touched the ground, I was running as if every single problem I had bottled up inside of me was chasing me down. The wind that hit my face was almost like a sweet kiss from the universe against my cheeks.

Even though we were sprinting due to either being ticketed or thrown inside the back of a cop car, I never felt so free of constraints, the resistance of the real world pulling me down suddenly had let go, leaving me weightless.

I remember the very moment we reached the end of the field, where a wall of lush and full trees blocked our path. Harry had yanked me so hard to the side that I fell to the hard dirt of the ground along with him, hiding behind a thick tree trunk and out of sight from the cops.

I remember the feeling of his chest against my back as I sat between his legs, the way his heart was thumping like a drum against my damp tank top. We sat there in that position silently for a good fifteen minutes until the coast was clear, and that feeling of serenity I had felt as our bodies were connected was quickly ripped away from me.

It was as if he realized how close he truly was to me, or maybe it was the high of it all that completely plummeted, because as soon as the cops had left us alone he was standing up onto his feet with a grimace on his face.

I knew not to take how he acted personally, his mood flip-flopped faster then you could blink and I knew that from the moment I met him. That doesn't mean it didn't make my stomach knot when he turned his back on me with a scoff escaping his lips, storming away in the direction of his parked car.

And that was my night, the ride back to my place was silent besides the music playing at a soft volume on the radio. It also seemed as if he couldn't wait to get me out of his presence fast enough.

I wanted to thank him for the day, knowing that I was his second option and he felt as if he needed to bring me along with him. Maybe he felt bad for me at first, for not having friends or for not having fuck all to do rather than sit in my room and wallow in self-pity.

Which I am currently doing right now at 10 at night.

I'm currently staring at the flicker of my candle sat in the middle of my dresser, the scent of rose water and ivy filling my senses and wrapping me up into comfort as the record Meat Is Murder by the smiths spun around.

I also had the volume on high, seeing as Brian was over once again the fucker practically has made himself at home, slithering himself into our lives.

He sits in the same exact spot at the table my dad used to sit in, it makes me sick to my stomach to see my mom not batting an eye to it at all. It was his place, and it should remain empty because sometimes I like to imagine that he's still here.

Sitting across the table from me as he would gently kick my chins to get a rise out of me, make his lame jokes as we ate, playing his records in the living room softly as we enjoyed our time spent together over a home-cooked meal.

And now it's just Brian the bald-headed scallywag, chain-smoking in-between bites of his food and chewing with his mouth open. I hate it, I hate him and I hate my mom for disregarding any of my feelings on the matter. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy just not with him. She deserves more.

I sighed as I fiddled with the bottom of my oversized forest green sweater, my feet and calves being hugged by a pair of knee-high grey socks. I had plans tonight on dying my hair black after that one little comment that Harry had said before, resonated with me.