I AM LOST I AM LOST

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my eyes sting and stick shut
the blood escapes my skin suddenly
i cant think with my fingers in my mouth
gnawing until bone juts through

gratifying pain and shaking
i cant keep the tears back when i am quiet
so i talk and talk and talk
but sometimes i just cant help it

dull blades tantalising me
i get lost in myself
hands are shoved into me
i breath shallow and swallow my instincts

i crawl into bed in the light of day
pitying myself as though i was a toddler
sniffle and throwing a tantrum
because i dont get what i want

i want to go too far
just to see what will happen
and i want to cut people off
just to see what they will say

something strange lit up in me
if you said you wanted it i would do it
a certain bridge between us is falling
and im watching you watch it fall

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