SMOKING KILLS SOMETIMES

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it sinks deep into me
into my shaking body
before i had fallen into old habits
i used to think of you smiling at me

i choke on the smoke
i foolishly burn my thumb on the flame
and look at the scars over my hands
i do still think about you sometimes

but its different nowadays...
maybe you would let me in if i asked
im alone in the dim light of the fire
the buzzing abhorrent inside me

i shove my fingers into my eyes
pretend i have a reason to stay here
sometimes i come so close to going
you always seem to reel me back in

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