Hetalia One-Shots (On Crack!!!1!!)

Gone Fishin Pt. 3: The Finale!!! 🤩

"I object!"

Everyone in the chapel audibly gasped, and the happy couple turned to face the crowd of onlookers to see who had openly objected. It didn't take long to find who it was, because they were standing, shaking their fist.

Sweden had expected to see Mickey's ex, Minnie, who had not been looking happy since receiving the wedding invite. But she was sitting down, looking just as confused as everyone else. The person who had objected had been standing right next to Mickey.

"What the hell??" Mickey said, his voice heavily tinged with annoyance.

"That's right... I object, Mick." The perpetrator repeated.

"Goofy, please. I'm trying to get married here, and you're supposed to be my groomsman. What could you possibly have to object about?" Mickey glared at him. 

Sweden felt the sweat forming on his brow. He had an inkling as to why Goofy would be objecting... something he never told Mickey...

"Because.....I am in love with Sweden, ah-hyuck!" Goofy declared, puffing out his chest proudly.

Sweden felt his veins go icy with anxiety, as he sweated profusely. He knew he would have to stop sweating, or he would ruin his $8,000 Gucci wedding dress that his sugar daddy Mickey had bought for him. He looked around the alter nervously.

"... what is he talking about, toots?" Mickey turned to his lovely bride, confusion painted on his face.

"Well... I... uh..." Sweden stuttered out in his low, monotone voice. He didn't know how to tell his beautiful fiance that he and Goofy used to be a thing.

"Gawrsh, just spit it out, baby boy, no need to be shy! We used to date, back in high school!" Goofy smiled proudly, looking at Sweden fondly. "And I want my stinky little kitten back! Whaddya say?"

Sweden was shocked. It was true, he and Goofy had dated back in high school, but Goofy had broken up with him in the middle of the Senior Prom because he realized that he liked Clarabelle better and went off to make out with her. Sweden and Goofy were voted Prom King and Queen not even five minutes later, as well as voted the 'Cutest Couple' in the yearbooks. The yearbooks had already been printed, and couldn't be changed. Sweden couldn't believe that after all that, Goofy would try to win him back. And out of all the times, and all the places, he decided to do it as Sweden was about to get married to Goofy's best friend. 

"H'w...h'w dare you?!" Sweden shouted, suddenly filled with unbridled anger. "H'w dare you try to win m'back after all you h've d'ne?! And at my w'dding?!"

Goofy seemed to shrink before Sweden's very eyes. He suddenly looked embarrassed and upset, as if the gravity of the situation just hit him like a Japanese bullet train. 

"Gawrsh... I'm real sorry babe. I guess... after all these years I felt too guilty and I guess I finally realized that after you get married, there would be no possible chance for me. I made a huge mistake that night...Do you remember when we used to sneak out of class and 'hang out' under the bleachers?" Sweden giggled, twirling his hair with his Gucci gloved fingers. "Yeah, I thought you might. Those were good times, and I want that again."

Mickey stood there, forcing a fake smile as his left eye twitched violently with irritation. "Pardon me, huh-ha, but what the FUCK is going on?"

Denmark, who was seated in the pew next to Germany, pulled out a jumbo-sized bag of popcorn and began to eat it. Germany reached for some, but Denmark slapped his hand away. Clarabelle, Goofy's wife, looked white as a ghost. She felt as shocked as she looked too, if not more so. Her husband of 20 years had secretly been in love with Mickey's fiance??? What was she going to tell their 14 children and pet demon Snuggles? That Goofy was a dirty, no-good cheat?? She hadn't expected this, she never thought this could happen ever since Goofy began cheating on Sweden with her. She thought they were endgame. Daisy, the officiator, looked bored. She wasn't getting paid to do this, and she did not have time to sit here and listen to their bs. 

"Ayo, I did not get a minister license online to have to listen to drama, let's hurry this up. I have to go do things, like sleeping," she said, tapping her fingers on the lectern. "So please, for the sake of my sleep schedule, let's wrap this shit up."

Goofy looked sad, he knew that he had made a huge mistake. "Please, Su-san. I know we've had our issues in the past, but I want to get back together. Please, I swear I've changed!"

Sweden looked at his former love. He didn't know what to do. On one hand, he loved Mickey and wanted to marry him. On the other hand, Goofy was his first love, and he still loved him after all this time. And on the third hand, Goofy was a lying scumbag who broke up with Sweden in favor of his side piece, whom he later married (and was still married to). 

"Hmm... ja I think y'u can go to hell, Goofy." Sweden muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Great! Now let's skip to the good part." Daisy exclaimed happily, glad that the BS was over with. "Do you, Sweden, take Mickey to be your husband?"

"Ja." Sweden's eyes filled with happy tears. He clutched his bouquet tighter, as overwhelming happiness surged through his body.

"And do you Mick-"

"Huh-ha! You know I do, why else would I be here?" Mickey smirked at Sweden in his trademark bad boy fashion. Sweden blushed deeply, what a smexy man he was marrying.

"Cool beans, you're now married I guess." Daisy nodded, leaving immediately to get home and watch the latest Gossip Girl and pass out.

Clarabelle ended up demanding a divorce at the reception later that night. It happened right after Mickey and Sweden Mouse's first dance (ja, Sweden totally copped that last name), which was to Andante, Andante by ABBA. 

Sweden threw his bouquet, and Mr. Puffin caught it. Mr. Puffin proposed to Hanatamago right after he caught it. Sweden gasped happily, his little girl was to be married to the respectable Mr. Puffin! Oh, joyous day!

Afterwords, Mickey and Sweden went off to their honeymoon, climbing into what appeared to be the Cinderella carriage but still a pumpkin. It reminded Sweden of the carriage from Shrek, and he swooned over Mickey's high class taste. They had cans tied to the back that said "Just Married", and they clanged marrily across the ground in harmony with the cheers of their friends and family (minus Goofy), as they drove away into the sunset. 

Sweden leaned over and gave his new husband a peck on the lips. He smiled as he looked into Mickey's eyes. Those eyes were his future, a future he knew would be full of new adventure and hopefully an abundance of happiness. 

Yes, this was the life.