Lithuania was sadder than sad.
He was mega sad. He was ultra sad.
He sat in the living room of Papi Ruskie's house on a brown couch, curled up with his tiny yellow doll blanket, barely covering his big toe.
He was having the poopie day. Poland, the Polish fashionista from Polish Poland walked in wearing Polish themed nail Polish and a pink summer dress.
"Hey bby boi" said the pink man. "i just got back from taking my horse to the old town road"
"Sexy" Lithuania said very depressed like. He was finna jealous of Poland's pretty pony.
"Hehe yeah i bet u jealous ÒwÓ because you have no horse and you only have khakis and a green sweater vest and a superman tie to wear" screeched Poland.
"Jealous? Of what?" replied Lithuania in a calm manner.
"I just told you dum dum. Are you deaf or sumthin" poland growled, turning into a werewolf for 2 seconds before turning back to normal.
"Your horse is stupid and your hair looks like the love child of the McDonald's logo, Jojo Siwa's hairline and Lord Farquad. Or y'know, more like a boring basic ass Prince Charming from Shrek 2."
Poland sobbed and ran out of the room. Lietty titty felt a little better. Poland was a dumbass, a jerk and a weirdo. Lithuania was now a slightly less sad yet smug baby liet.
"Salvete Lietuvietus, you little bitchboy" said the midget Latvia, walking through the front door.
Lithuania gasped. It was Mr. Latvia. Latvia had defeated Papi Ruskie by summoning a demon named Cananabooboo to take him out. Papi Ruskie had been dragged to hell, and apparently was just given the throne because he was just so creepy.
"Valgyti šūdas, Mr. Latvija." Liet said quickly.
"What was that, hoe?" latvia shreiked as he scurried over to liet on all fours.
"I said good afternoon, m'sir." Liet giggled like an anime school girl.
"W-whatever! B-baka!" Latvia said, stabbing Estonia with a stick.
"oofie ouchie" said estonia dying very slowly.
"fuk" grumbled tolys. "this finna sucks ass."
"Haha yess" latvia squealed like a piglet in triumph. "I'M going to be the next superpower of the world!"
"No" Lithuania said, bonking him on the head with a Sonic The Hedgehog brand Amy mallet.
Latvia died. So sad. Boo hoo.
"I'm going to be the next superpower of the world." Tolys whispered to himself, a wicked grin forming on his face.
"And no one can stop me."
YOU ARE READING
Hetalia One-Shots (On Crack!!!1!!)
FanficAn awful Hetalia story collection, with most chapters being a sleep-deprived collab between two absolute idiots. Started in our freshman(?) year of high school, we're now 2 assholes in college who write this stuff just because we think we're funny...
