His Burden, His Blessing

The Strange Man

I sobbed my heart out as I closed the toilet lid and sat on it.

Why God? Why me?

How could he be so blatant about it?

From the moment Tanisha had walked in, Zeyansh has been staring at her. Even Varun saw that. All he and his wife could do was give me a smile filled with pity.

He's not once, looked at me like that. And that hurt!

It hurt because I know that he'll never give me that look.

My looks have been the same throughout college till now. The only difference is that, in college, though I had insecurities, it wasn't this bad. I had my friends cheer me up and make me feel beautiful, like a queen, even when I've never told them that I'm insecure.

But with Zeyansh, I felt insecure every second of my life. Though he never said anything before yesterday, I was still cautious, I made sure I got up early in the morning so that I could brush and shower so that he wouldn't be disgusted by my morning breath or my bed hair. I make sure not to fart in front of him. It's like staying with a king.

But he's not! He's someone who likes to ogle at other woman's breasts, face, and ass, though he's married. He's a pervert, a scumbag.

My mind yelled back at me.

And I agreed. He looked at her like she is a goddess. And she is. I'm not going to argue with that. She's beautiful and many men were looking at her, but all those men didn't have a wife standing beside them while Zeyansh did.

He forgot me!

Was I that forgettable?

I called him many times but he was so awestricken by Tanisha that he forgot me.

And Varun and Natasha, both of them saw that but God bless their souls, they acted like they didn't see that. But it was embarrassing nonetheless.

And now I know! I know that I'm the woman, whose husband will never be interested in her.

My husband wasn't someone who couldn't feel love or attraction. He could! But he just didn't feel anything for me.

I covered my mouth when my sobs got louder.

I just couldn't bear the pain anymore. I think death would be rather better.

I laughed at that. All my teen and college life, I just wanted a husband who would stop making me feel like this, who would make me feel like a queen, like in those romance books.

But now I know,

Now I've learned,

Now I've experienced it,

Only beautiful girls can experience that.

All my life, I told and convinced myself, you don't need to be beautiful to get your soulmate to love you, your personality is enough to get all the love.

But it turns out I've only been lying to myself.

After running out of tears, I wiped my face with a tissue and did a lot of touch up. I wanted to go home, and by home, I meant to my parents. I wanted to hold my mother's hand and sleep. I wanted my father to tell me how he is proud of me and call me his beautiful daughter. I wanted to bicker with my little brother.

But I can't! I'm not their little girl anymore and if they come to know about my situation, it would hurt them to no limit. Thinking about that brought a fresh batch of tears to my eyes. But I didn't let them fall.

I cleaned up everything and went back, with my head held high.

Now was the time to show that I was a strong woman. That this didn't bother me.

I was done hoping for something or anything from Zeyansh.

I'm gonna see how far this road is until it reaches a dead end. And I'm gonna measure it.

I'm gonna see where our relationship ends and the time it takes.

I walk out, my back straight and my head held high.

I feel the power. The aura within me changes, from a caring wife I've become a queen for myself.

Who crowned me?

My-fucking-self!