"You don't turn me on enough for us to roleplay." My husband of 2 years said to me. It took me some time to process what he said.
"What?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Is this some kind of a joke?" I asked him incredulously.
"Do I look lik...
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"Please come back home. I know you've given me plenty of chances but I just need one more." He pleaded and I wanted to give in, I wanted to go back, forget everything and be in his arms.
And so I did what my heart asked for!
***
"I'm sorry Zeyansh! I can't! You've already hurt me too much. I need some time away from you, away from this marriage." I said even though the words hurt me. Two years ago, when I was excited to get married, this wasn't what I pictured. "Please go back home. I'll come when I'm done getting over what you put me through. I hate you so much right now that I can't even fathom breathing the same air as you. So I need you to leave me be." I said sternly.
"And stop drinking this much, please! This is not you and your body will not be able to tolerate this." Was the last thing I said to him as I walked away from him, back to the company, not bothering to look back at that broken man.
***
Looking back now, I shouldn't have parted with him by telling him that I hated him. If I hadn't, along with fear and hurt, I wouldn't be carrying guilt too.
What if this is it?
Is this how we're going to end?
I paced as these thoughts ran around in my head.
"Mrs.Zeyansh, he's stable now. His right arm and left leg have been fractured, but nothing major though. There was a deep cut on his forehead that has been stitched up. He'll probably have a concussion after he gains consciousness. I need him to stay in the hospital for at least 10 days to monitor him because he suffered some internal bleeding."
Monitor him, my ass bitch!
"Can I go inside now?" I asked in annoyance and hatred but she walked away after treating my husband who got in an accident as he was too drunk. He went and collided with a truck that was stationary in his drunken stupor. He must have driven at a very high speed because of the high cost that I was slammed with by the mechanic to repair the car.
I walked alongside his stretcher as they wheeled him out of the operation theatre. His face was swollen and he had a gauze wrapped around his head. It hurt my heart to watch him like this. When I received the call from the hospital stating that my husband had been in an accident, my heart stopped beating as I forgot how to breathe. Throughout the ride to the hospital, all that went on in my head was how it was all my fault. Maybe if I had left with him like he asked, he probably wouldn't have gotten into this accident. Maybe if I had forced him to take a cab or auto, he would be fine and healthy in our apartment now.
All the what-ifs and what-not's have been killing me from the inside. After we were left alone in the private ward, I cried my heart out as I vented out all my guilt to his unconscious form.
***
"I'm sorry!"
Was the first thing I said as I got him to sit upright, have a glass a water and called in a doctor – which by the way, I was glad that it wasn't her. He looked confused and in pain, probably from the concussion. And that was enough for me to burst out into tears again.
