You and me against the world

"For her"

So... been a minute.
Sorry for not updating for so so long it's just that we were busy with family stuff *cough* vacation *cough* and didn't really find the time to write.
We swear the story isn't discontinued.
And without further ado, enjoy.

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If ever confronted by death, in any way shape or form, the person you once were ceases to exist and you are reborn anew, no matter how minor the change may be.
Adrien knew that first hand.
He'd known loss.
He'd known sorrow.
He'd known grief.
But he'd never known hatred. Not one as powerful as hers.
He knew it was hatred that burned with such force within her.
She wouldn't show it, not even to him.
But at school, when she'd force a smile and fake a laugh, when she would lie and say she's fine, when she'd act like she healed, he would notice.
He would notice the flaws in her act.
He would notice the cracks in her façade.
And he would notice how her shoulders are always tense, how her fists are always clenched, how she's slowly distancing herself from everyone.
She was slipping away from him, from everyone.
And it worried him.
Because her change was drastic.
And it scared him.
Because he was unsure of the person she was becoming.
And it hurt him.
Because he can't lose her.
So as much as it pained him to lie to her, he didn't reveal his identity to her.
Because he could see her inner turmoil, and decided not to add any more to it. Heaven knows she has enough on her mind already.
So he promised himself he wouldn't add to her worries, he would be strong for both of their sakes.
He liked to think that he could keep her from drifting into darkness if he shone enough light in her life.
And, when no one was looking, he would allow his darkness to take over, and he would cry.
He would sob.
He would act selfish for once, and allow for the front he was putting to crumble, even for just a minute.
Sometimes, his sobs can be heard from across the hallway.
Perhaps that's how Gabriel knew of his son's distress and acted fatherly for once.
Adrien didn't notice when his father entered his room, he didn't feel him slowly approach him.
He realized he was present when he wrapped him in a tight embrace.
Warm.
That's a new feeling.
Against his better judgment, Adrien clung to his father and continued to sob.
Gabriel even patted his son's back gently to calm him down.
"I'm here for you son. Whatever you need just tell me and I'll see to it."
"I don't need ANYTHING from you. I just need hawkmoth's madness to stop, I can't take it anymore."
A frown settled on Gabriel's face and he sighed, but Adrien didn't notice that focused on crying his heart out and taking in whatever small touches of affection his father was showing him.
He desperately needed that.
Eventually, exhaustion took over and Adrien gave in and slept.
Gabriel slowly left the room, being mindful not to make any sound.
Then once he closed the door, he whispered to himself "I'm sorry my love, we're going to need to delay our plans a little longer."
...
Patrols.
It's been a while since they'd done those.
It was just Chat Noir doing them every night since hawkmoth's declaration. Alone.
What's odd is, ever since the ... incident, there were no new akumas. And for someone who basically declared war on Ladybug and Chat Noir, it didn't sit right by them.
Because this time, this time he was certain the villain was preparing something.
He wouldn't just threaten them in such a grand way for nothing, right?
Or maybe it's because...
Chat Noir decided to end his night by checking up on Marinette.
She was standing alone in the balcony of the room she was given. It was right next to Chloé's so she can go to her whenever she felt too lonely.
Her expression was unreadable.
"Anything interesting tonight?" she asked, her gaze fixated on the sky.
"Nothing. It's odd."
She hummed and nodded.
They stood next to each other, and despite the small distance between them, Chat couldn't help but feel so distant from her.
The silence that settled was deafening, but was cut by Marinette announcing:" The mayor is organizing this press conference for Ladybug and Chat Noir. He expects us to make a statement about what happened that day."
"Will you be there?" he asked with anticipation, although he kind of already knew what her answer would be.
Her expression changed into a sad frown, and he knew his guess was correct.
"I can't."
"The people need us. They need YOU to give them hope." He declared, trying so hard not to yell.
"I CAN'T." she immediately cringed after she screamed and sighed. "Sorry, but I'm not ready to put the suit back on. I can't bring myself to wear it anymore because it reminds me of that day, of how I failed them, how I failed all of Paris and I just." Her voice started to shake "How am I supposed to give people hope and light a fire in them if the one inside me is no more?" she turned to look at Chat and he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.
He said nothing, because despite how he feels deep down he knew that she was some right in what she said. Instead he just pulled her into his embrace.
It was not you who failed them, it was me.
If he was being completely honest, he too didn't want to go to the conference, he didn't feel he had the right to stand before the crowds like some sort of savior when all that happened was his fault.
But he would do it.
For her.
For them
For Paris.
He wasn't surprised though, when half the cheers died down when it was just him who arrived on stage.
Still, with whatever courage he could muster, he stepped towards the microphone and spoke with what he hoped was a confident voice:" Parisians, I stand before you today not to give you false hope, not to feed you lies to motivate you, but to present you with the truth. As you can see, Ladybug is not with me today and that is because she has taken a break." His voice cracked at the last word "She has been severely affected by the incident that day, but I assure you she's listening to this and I promise you that we are working relentlessly to formulate a plan that would put an end to hawkmoth's reign of terror once and for all. However, unless it's for extreme cases, it's just going to be me, and occasionally Rena Rouge, Carapace and other superheroes depending on the situation. I urge you to have faith in us because we are trying our best to defeat Hawkmoth and we won't stop until we do it."
He stood for a minute, waiting for questions or something, but instead everyone remained silent, perhaps shaken up by his speech, perhaps still trying to process his words. So he just decided to leave.
But if their expressions conveyed anything to him, it's that it wasn't hope he instilled in them.
Doubt.
**************************
Not even the night seemed to be on their side. Perhaps it was the absence of the stars telling them even the cosmos do not condone the path they're taking. Not even the moon was there to light a path for them or keep them company like it always did. Never did the night feel so lonely.
Marinette was so deep in thought, with various papers scattered before her. She was looking for something, anything, that would get them even a quarter of a step closer to catching Hawkmoth. But just like the night since she vowed to ... stop him, they would always reach a dead end.
He wanted to hold her, kiss her and tell her that it will be okay, she will figure it out like she always does.
But there was some sort of unsaid refusal on her part. The doubt and the pressure weighing in on her, denying her all sorts of comfort until she repents for what she did. It was frighteningly consuming her.
And he stood there, useless, trying so desperately to connect some of dots. He too had his demons that were eating him from the inside.
When he looked at her, he saw anger and frustration start to take over her.
"THIS IS GETTING NOWHERE. WHY CAN'T I SOLVE THIS. WHY WHY WHY." She closed her eyes and started shaking her head.
Before her hands can start doing anything, he reached for them and held them in his.
"My lady please. I beg of you calm down." He pleaded.
"I HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALM DOWN OR RELAX CHAT NOIR, PEOPLE HAVE DIED AND I FAILED TO PROTECT THEM. WE NEED TO FIND A PLAN TO STOP THAT TERRORIST AND QUICKLY."
"I can't stand to see you drifting away like this. Please princess, I can't handle you becoming a target of hawkmoth again."
She immediately froze at the last part.
"AGAIN?" she yelled out of shock rather than frustration, which meant she was kind of calming down.
"It happened a while back, you were depressed on your balcony, I think after you broke up with Luka, and an akuma was headed your way so I cataclysmed it." He explained with a weak voice.
She froze for a moment and lowered her head. They stayed like that for a while, then Marinette let out a heavy sigh and with a determined, yet calm, look in her eyes she spoke:" I will work on not letting my emotions get the better of me, however I won't give up and I will find a way to make that bastard pay. We need to find out who he really is and fast." She forcefully pulled her hands out of Chat Noir's, and his face fell at the loss of contact.
He shot a worried look at his girlfriend, before letting out a sigh he didn't know he was holding and getting back to work.