Forelsket, Choi Yeonjun

breaking down

"how could i cope up with the break up
without breaking down?
how could i smile, when i'm used to you
being its reason?
how could i laugh, when i've been
left by my reason?
how i wish i could go back in time,
just to tell us to stop 'cause in the end,
we ain't gonna be fine.
'cause now that we've broken up,
i think it's okay for me to break down"

---

Dear Xavion,

I'm messed up as hell. I don't even know why I'm still writing letters to you, but i think i'm so used to writing to you, i'm doing it as an habit.

It's not like you'll read this anyway.

Who said that i'm going to send these to you?

I was supposed to gift these letters to you on our 8th Anniversary (i know, i expected way too much), but shits happens, we fell apart almost instantly.

It's currently 02:21 AM now, Xav. What a coincidence, right?

I didn't know that i can hate time, but now that i think of it, i'm starting to hate on 08:08 and 02:21.

It just fucking reminds me so much of you, of us.

It's been three days since we fell apart, Xav. And i didn't break down that much.

But how could i move on from you, when every single little detail reminds me of you?

How could i move on from you, when my world's light was only you?

Now i know, it's wrong to depend your happiness on someone, 'cause someday, they'll leave you too.

Everyone leaves.

Everyone betrays.

Everyone hurts.

If then, i was breaking down because of my family..

Now, I'm breaking down because we broke up.

fuck that thing called love.

it never does anything good in the end.

- Celestia
✧ 10-15-2020