Forelsket, Choi Yeonjun

08:08 PM, songs without you

"You've found the colors to paint me
But you also left me grey.
You found the right words to sing to me
But you sang it to someone else."

---

Dear Xavion,

Hi, i guess. It feels weird to write to you now, but I don't care lol.

How are you? I hope you're fine haha, 'cause i'm not. Well, i think you're happy with her, and that's all i want, so i'm not angry at all.

Just upset.

There's a difference between feeling upset and being angry, FYI.

So, how did my day went? It went as normal as it can. My whole world went back to normal after you left me, so that's really not shocking.

And i noticed that the whole class, and maybe some of our other schoolmates too, are getting weirded out by our set up.

I'm still hanging out with Hannah and Nicole, and we're totally cool with each other.

I'm hanging out more often with Liv and her friends.

Chance and Julian often eats lunch with me since he told me that he felt like he needs to (i think he's the one feeling guilty about what you did)

You and Hannah are always together (sometimes with Nicole)

And lastly, we treat each other as strangers. (or more like ghosts, since i always pretend that i don't see or notice you)

So i guess they're weirded out by all of those.

I mean, who wouldn't though? "One day, Celestia and Xavion were all lovey-dovey with each other, then the other day, Hannah and Xavion are going out together."

Well, that's some ironic shit.

Oh and as if my life's not that tragic already, my step mom freaking came to where i was staying just to show her freaking money off and scold me. Like that's so childish af.

And then, i was cleaning my things, when i saw the cassette tape you gave me.

It was like yesterday when i felt happiness when i heard this.

But now?

I felt nothing but sadness.

Funny how one song can bring back lots of things, not just memories, but also feelings.

- Hurting, Celestia
✧ 11-09-2020