AILEEN: It's August.
JON: One hot ass summer come to an end.
AILEEN: Seems the summers only get hotter as the years get shorter.
JON: I reckon we should lay this out for them.
AILEEN: We gettin' from late April through late October.
JON: It gets a little ugly. Maybe we oughta make it clearer.
AILEEN: How you fixin' to do that I wonder?
(Spotlight on a chalkboard.)
JON: It actually started with the Easter picnic back in April. (He draws a long horizontal line on the chalkboard and marks the far left side with, "Elise Fudge's Easter-Fudge Eggstravaganza!")
AILEEN: I wouldn't say that. A dark day, but let's not dwell on that right now. Skip ahead to mid-August (Halfway down the line) Pastor Fudge decides to add a potluck. Something he'd never done, and it was strange being that it was so soon after—
JON: And you say it's not important. That day in April matters.
AILEEN: Please let's skip ahead.
JON: She was the pastor's wife, Aileen.
AILEEN: I didn't even know she was sick.
JON: We gotta tell the story how—
AILEEN: Skip to August Jon.
JON: Picture it. We've never had a potluck in the pastor's backyard other than Elise's big Easter Picnic. It was really her big contribution to the church because she knew she did it well, and it made her feel good to run something that could bring so much joy. So when she died that night in April, we didn't know why the pastor would be bringing us all back to his yard so soon. He set up some tables kinda like Elise would have, but it didn't feel the same. It was eery and unfamiliar.
AILEEN: The last place anybody saw Elise.
JON: Not anybody.
AILEEN: So we were all expecting him to be a little unhinged as it was. But when the Pastor starts shouting at you comparing you to bible characters, you done messed up. The day of the surprise August potluck looked like this: picture it—
JON: Don't forget the video.
AILEEN: I reckon.
JON: Pastor Mike had a meltdown.
AILEEN: Jesus you don't have to make it sound so bad.
JON: Was it not bad?
(A spotlight comes up on Pastor Fudge, who stands at a grill at the potluck, wearing an apron and holding a spatula. He is with Pastor Steve and Isaac, who also wear aprons but are not actually allowed to help.)
FUDGE. Good Lord Almighty!
STEVE: Why don't you let me take a stab at it, Mike, c'mon, how many of these have we done together? You should take a rest. You haven't been resting very much these past couple—
FUDGE: I'm sorry, Stevey, I'm sorry, these just are not World Famous Fudge Burgers if they're not gently taken care of by Fudge.
ISAAC: I'm a Fudge.
FUDGE: That's not the same thing, you know what I mean.
ISAAC: Not the same thing as a Fudge? Got it.
