(Lights up on the Pastor's office, where he sits at his desk opposite Isaac.)
FUDGE: Good Lord Almighty—sit up, Isaac you look bored when you slouch like that. Your mama would not let that kind of posture fly. Not for one moment.
ISAAC: Oh have you finally started catching on to things that mama would care about?
FUDGE: (A rare moment of restraint) All I am asking is that you sit up—you look bored when you slouch.
ISAAC: Should I not respond to that? Because you have opened up such a window here.
FUDGE: Don't get smart with me unless you're fixin for a beating you ain't ever known yet. I'm trying to stay patient with you but sometimes love does boast and sometimes it is to boast about how strong my hand can be.
(Pastor Steve knocks on the door and enters.)
STEVE: Afternoon, Mike. Isaac. Sorry I'm late, we can never seem to get the offering and communion supplies back on the shelves the same way we got it down.
FUDGE: Don't overthink it, Steveypoo.
ISAAC: Are you planning to tell us why we're here?
FUDGE: You'll know as soon as I do, Son.
ISAAC: You mean you're making us come to a meeting without any idea of what you're going to make it about? Daddy, is there someone I can call for you? You're fixin' to turn into a dagum headcase. Like a serial killer or one of them methodists or somethin'.
FUDGE: Shut it. It's not my meeting—Virginia Hickory called it.
ISAAC: Since when have you let Virginia Hickory call the shots around here?
FUDGE: Virginia Hickory calls every shot she possibly can. I just try to block most of them. This time she has assured me that it's important. Your mother suggested I be open to the flock's concerns so I reckon we are going to sit through this meeting and listen intently. Do you hear? I need you to keep an even head and not act emotionally. I know you like to act emotionally.
ISAAC: I do not act emotionally.
FUDGE: Humbug.
ISAAC: From time to time I may be known to react emotionally. Sometimes that's what happens when another person stirs your emotions all up inside you. Like when they paint you as someone who always acts emotional all willy nilly. Don't shake a soda pop and be upset when it explodes, Pop.
FUDGE: (He raises the back of his hand to Isaac, who still flinches) Listin here Spawn. Level head.
ISAAC: You got it, Captain.
FUDGE: I'm serious.
ISAAC: As a heart attack?
FUDGE: Deadly.
ISAAC: We should be so lucky.
STEVE: (Uncomfortable laughter) Alright. (They both turn and look at Pastor Steve.) Man if you two don't know how to suck all the oxygen out of a room.
ISAAC: I'm fine.
STEVE: Everything is going to be fine here.
FUDGE: I know that and you know that I am asking him to make sure of that.
ISAAC: I won't say a word.
FUDGE: That's much appreciated Son.
(The door opens and Virginia storms in followed by her husband.)
