Stay Strong, Never Surrender

I'm my worst nightmare

I moved to New Orleans after my mum and dad broke their marriage. My dad had an affair. Even though he did, I would have rather stayed with him anyway, I away was and always will be a daddy's girl. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing. I stayed in a cardboard box with my two little sisters, poppy and rose, I was used to bottling up my feelings so that they were assured that everything was alright. They could be such a pain sometimes but I loved them both to bits. But sometimes I had to get away cause the pretending was too much. We looked like a family, me, mum, poppy and rose but if you looked closely you could see the scars and cracks and sometimes hiding them was too hard. That's when I would stay in my room and cry. Depressed. That's what mum said I was. That why she was so determined for me to go to school, she said that socialising would help me forget the past, a fresh new beginging. I wanted to believe her, but inside I knew that nothing would make me feel completely better ever again.
The first day I arrived with puberty all over my face in great big red blobs. High school was a whole new concept for me, the segregation of all the students to their different clicks, the fashion, the bullys. Luckily I never got bullied, but I never stood out, I was just the brunette who had her head in a book all the time. Invisible. Just the way I liked it. I would stay in the library all day just so that I would never have to take the effort of friends and relationships, it was just easier this way. No drama. Eventually my pimples stopped and I got curves in all the right places, I was now no longer labelled invisible but pretty and surprisingly, I didn't like it. I didn't like the attention I was getting and I made it clear, soon everyone returned to normal and I was back as the girl who loved to read. But now I was the pretty girl who loved to read and believe me, that made all the difference. I was asked to parties and invited to birthday bashes, even though it was never quite my thing. But occasionally there would be a party I would go to so that my mum wouldn't get worried about me and I would pretend to enjoy myself. It was what I was best at you see, I have had so much practice it comes naturally. Then one day a new boy came.
Jasper was his name.
He seemed to just fit in. He was the most popular guy with his ebony hair, irresistible charms and funny personality. He had high school handed to him on a silver plate and soon I felt the seed of jealousy grow into my stomach. He had a perfect life, a mom and dad who loved him, a little brother who adored him and millions of female fans laying their lives for him. He soon dated every popular girl possible and was known to be a bit of a player but that never stopped girls from falling for him. It annoyed me how girls could just give in to him so easily, I mean how hard can it be to just say no. Well I found out. And believe me, I could finally understand what girls go through. It happened in my biology class, I always had a spare stool next to me, I kept my bag onto it and started reading my book. This one was about a romance thriller, I'm not that keen on romances but I had almost finished all the books on mystery and horror in our library. I hear my bag drop on the floor and the stool being scraped on the floor. Someone was sitting next to me, before I could give the deathly glare I hear him speak.
"I'm going to sit here and you are going to be my lab partner and girlfriend. It's just that Michelle over there thinks we have something but we definitely don't so I need to end that fantasy of hers immediately."
I look at him with a glare, nobody orders me to do anything and definitely not a guy who thinks he owns the school and I am half jealous of. Before I give him a piece of my mind his lips are on mine. First hard, bruising my lips and urging for some kind of response, then more gentle and almost airily brushing mine. It took some time before I felt myself kissing him back, all the warnings were popping in my head and sense finally came rushing. I pushed him away with such force that he almost falls over. I wish he had.
" What the hell do you think you are playing at?" I almost scream at him. He gives me a lopsided grin which would have melted my heart if I had one.
"Was that your first time? I mean I am not quite sure what this was, but it felt very one sided" his eyes are soft, still sending so many signals.
" That's because it was one sided idiot. Why are you still here, get lost!"
The class seems to have just registered what happens and a male voice screeches "REJECTED! Boy you just got rejected. RE-JE-CTE-" before he can finish his little solo sir walks in.
"I think that's enough Ali." Class finishes as normal and thankfully I make no physical contact with Jasper for the rest of the lesson. However just when I thought it was over I saw him waiting at the bus stops, his eyes eager. Dang it! I knew I should have called mum to pick me up.
"So where did we finish off." He grins again.
"Why can't you bother someone else?"
I find that he is in my personal space limit and try to take a step back until my leg scrapes the hard surface of a wall. Shoot.
"No where to run this time."
He looks at me with those intense eyes and I can feel my insides turn liquid. Why was I reacting to him like this? I was becoming a stereotypical popular girl- my worst nightmare.
"Please just go"
I try to say strongly but my voice fails me and gives out a little whisper. His index finger pulls my chin up so that I have no choice but to look into his eyes. I try to glare but I can already feel the tips of my face turning red.
"You look so hot when your angry, it makes me want to make you even more angrier, and I know just how."
He leans in and starts kissing me in a blink of an eye and this time I can feel myself break. As if my strength shield was shattering into tiny pieces. I'm suddenly pulling his hair whilst he has his hands on my back, I need to stop, but I can't. That's when I hear the honk of a BMW, and it sounds so familiar that it knocks me out of his trance. Jaspers eyes dark with hunger looks bewildered and I look at the car where a middle aged man is staring at me with his arms across his chest and I'm sure there is steam blowing out his ears. Dad?