Stay Strong, Never Surrender

Broken

"So you want to get invited right?" I meekly nod my head. My heart was stamping hard and I couldn't stop my breath get caught in my throat.

"After all this time, now you want me? You used me up and ditched me after I told you the biggest secret of my life, and now you come back and expect me to just let you back in my life, with no punishments?" The strength of his words hit my heart and its venom started to spill.

"Punishments?" I gulp.

He stares at me, the once melting hazel eyes to now cold and dull brown.

"Don't act innocent, you hurt me, now it's my turn to hurt you." He smirks.

*****

I wake up, sweat covering my face, dripping from my temples. I sit still so that my heart can go back to normal pace and wait. Relief flood in me as I finally get the grip that it was a dream, but in the back of my mind there was fear that this dream could be my reality very soon. I lay back down, groaning.

When I wake up the second time, I take a cold shower and dress up. Today I was going to ask him, I wasn't going to runaway this time.

I march into school with my head held high and my heart abandoned. I go straight into the hall, and stand where my locker is. Once I see Hunter, I make a move. I quietly follow him and find myself a little confused when I reach behind the bike shed. I hide in between the bicycles.

My eyes bulge as I see who Jasper is meeting.

It's the guy who kidnapped me.

I listen carefully and strain my ears to catch a glimpse of what they're saying.

"You told me that she was going to be begging for my forgiveness or something? Till now I have got absolutely nothing, not even a flipping sorry. I asked you to do one job and you couldn't do it, how the hell am I supposed to be assured that when I do become the leader that any job will be done."

"I'm so sorry Jasper. But I'm sure that she's just thinking of a way to get closer to you. Maybe you should make the first move, just to speed things up." The broad man suggests.

"If I could see her, I would've made the first move ages ago. She's been hiding from me for months and whenever I do catch a glimpse of her it just hurts... To see her fine without me, it breaks my heart even more. Dude, I just want to have revenge, to make her feel the hurt and pain which she caused for me." As he stops, I feel a tear slide down my cheek, the tingling sensation it always causes.

Revenge. That's what he wants.

"Look here's an invitation to my party I'm holding on Saturday." Jasper says handing it to the muscular guy.

"Give it to her and tell her to meet me there. If she doesn't agree, force her. She has to come or else you'll be the one to blame." Jasper jabs an accusing finger at him. The man just nods and Jasper starts walking away.

My body limp with disgust, hate and disappointed, Just stands the weak.

*****

I don't feel anything for the first few days, just bleak nothingness. Afterwards, I started to feel anger, and finally just desperation. I found myself wanting to give him his revenge, because I deserve to be more heartbroken.

So on that Saturday morning when I get a scribbled note on my door of Jaspers address and invitation to his party, I don't even have a second thought of what I was going to do. I didn't even change into something appropriate like a dress, I just went to the party which jeans and a flannel.

I danced and chatted and got very drunk. I didn't mind though, because in this other world, I had no worries, no revenge seeking exboyfriends, no scarily close exams, and definitely no family problems at all. In this other world I was free, like a dove.

Although somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew wherever I was trouble alway seemed to find its path next to me. So when I saw Jasper  storming outside, grabbing my wrist and storming into his bedroom, I wasn't the least bit bothered at all.

I couldn't be asked to play the damsel in distress and therefore started swearing very loudly.

"There's no need for that sweetness. " Jasper says in an alarmingly polite manner. But I know this kindest is an act, as there's always calm before a storm.

"Well who do you think you are? You can't just grab me upstairs whilst I was having fun. Your not my family, your nothing to me." I say jabbing my vicious words into him. I can see his pained expression, but he quickly hides it.

" I could see you were clearly enjoying yourself. Flinging yourself to other as if your some toy. Your more than that Em, well you used to be. What happened?" I could feel my anger boiling in my veins again, I could not just believe he asked me what happened. Does he think I'm stupid, does he not know anything.

"You. That's what happened, ever since you came I can't do anything, be anything. You have completely ruined me. I know what your planning, your stupid revenge so you can just hurt me, but I'm not bothered, cause every single thing in my life wants to hurt me. I thought you were different, but your not. I thought you made me more confident, yet you just shattered me and made me frail. I can't even be happy anymore cause you've ruined that too. I- I hate you." I sob, hitting Jaspers chest repeatedly, throwing weak punches out of nowhere. Weak weak weak. That was all I was.

I didn't want to be close to him, and I hate to feel it, but I was protected in his arms, and I was warm and it felt good to be back in there. I wanted to hate him so badly, I wanted to be disgusted, but I couldn't. Jasper was not the person I hated, the person I hated was me.

"Shush Emelia, shush now." Jasper gently strokes my hair and I cry into him and completely break down.