Stay Strong, Never Surrender

It's over

The next few days, I try to avoid Jasper as much as I could. I didn't know how I could react to what had happened. I had many questions to ask him, but the thought that the more I was with him, the more danger I could be in, scared me. Of course, it wasn't going to be easy, but I had made the plan to break up with him. The truth was, I didn't know how much I liked Jasper, he was just my high school boyfriend, but the day when I had enough courage to speak to him was the day when I found out, how much I liked Jasper.

It was weird, as it was him who approached me whilst I was at my locker.

"Emily, I really need to talk to you, please could you at least look at me." I turned around, and saw Jasper. He had bags underneath his eyes and and fresh wound next to his eyebrow. I hesitated to touch it, but pushed back this urge.

"Actually, I need to tell you something Jasper." I start to say, I could feel my voice start to break.

"I owe you an explanation so please, just hear me out."he looks so weary, that I can't reject him. I slowly nod, and he leads me out, we go behind the bike shed, and I sigh when I remember the last time we were here.

"Ok, so you know how I said I found my real mother. Well turns out she's the leader of one of the biggest underground gangs, one of the reasons why I was taken away from her." He stares up at the clouds, almost in his own world.

"But now, she's really ill and her last wish is to make me the heir to her gang." Jasper look at me with eyes of urgency and concern, whilst I stare back at him with my jaw dropped. This was worse than I had expected.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" I hiss, finally being able to form a sentence.

"At the time, I didn't know. All I knew was she had been in prison, that was all my- er- foster mum and dad said. Plus when I tried to tell you about the prison thing, you told me not to." His hands are now clasped around my wrists.

I sigh In frustration. Jasper Looking so vulnerable is going to make what I want to say much harder.

"And now what? Are the gang just going to beat you up until you say yes? Is there anyway for you to escape?" He looks down to my feet and shrugs.

" I don't know. But I know we will get through this, somehow." I feel my eyes brim with tears, cause I have to say it.

"Jasper, I can't live on an uncertainty. I know when they find you not responding to the physical, they will just try to hurt you mentally and emotionally. And that means I would be in this mess and I would have to risk my family lives. I don't think I'm ready to do that. I-I - I think we should not be together." I let the tears spill.

"Are you breaking up with me? When I need you the most, your just going to runaway." I can hear his voice start to break.

"Jasper, I'm in high school. I shouldn't be worried about if my boyfriend is going to make it back home tonight. I should be thinking about homework and clothes. I have two little sisters Jasper, I can't jeopardise somebody else's life cause of you." I just about whisper.

"So you think by leaving me, you can just forget about me. You won't, you can't. I don't know if you've realised but I'm a big part of your life now, Emily. I think- no- I know that you need me as much as I need you." Jasper start to yell.

"Maybe I won't be able to forget you, maybe I'll just remain unhappy for the rest of my life, but if that means my family is safe then so be it." I plead, I need him to understand where I'm coming from.

"So your just going to pretend. Give away your happiness so that they can be happy, and what about me? Sorry if I'm being selfish, but Emily, I don't think you understand how much you mean to me." Jasper cups my face, with his palms, and I stare into his eyes. I'm going to miss seeing those hazel eyes, I'm going to miss feeling the warmth of his palms.

I'm going to miss him.

"You are selfish and arrogant and annoying as hell. But I really have no other option." I say, just wanting to run as fast I could, but his grip doesn't loosen and I'm left still looking at those liquid hazel eyes.

"I know I am. Because I can't pretend Em, like you can." He softly lays his lips onto mine, I feel his mouth working wonders and I can't resist but react and Deepen his kiss. I want this moment to last forever, I hate saying goodbye, but sometimes reality sucks.

Once he's done holding my lips, I grab my bag which has found its way to the floor and run. I am weak, like he says, running away is something that oozes weakness. But who said I was brave? For goodness sake, I'm 16, I have a family that's already pretty messed up, two little sisters who need me as a role model and a mother who has just found a little confidence. I can't leave them and be with Jasper and his crazy life, I know I won't be able to forget him but as long as I'm not hurting my family, I guess it's ok.

I guess.