100 Days Without You (COMPLETED)

6. Krist

Krist

He can't say he's quite in his right mind the day he posts the letter.

It's been a tough week in general. A long filming schedule, some promo work with Tay and Gunsmile; a dinner with fans that was lovely, but difficult, as he had nodded at the repeated mentions of his Phi. He was kind of surprised that it hadn't really been commented on, that he wasn't talking about Phi Singto all the time. The fact that he had completely stopped. Just cut him from his life.

But there had been the statement. He supposed that that had made a difference.

Singto had asked for fans to respect his wishes while he was studying abroad, that he intended to be just another student in America and that he would not be posting on his public accounts.

So Krist supposes that they think he's just respecting Singto too. The lack of photos on Insta and his silence on Twitter. It's just part of it all. At least that's what they think.

Only he, Singto, and a tiny handful of others know the actual truth.

Tiny handful because they'd barely confirmed their relationship outside of their closest family. P'Jane and Mae Yui, P'Bank and Nong Tae because they were with them all the time. Mook because she'd been there at the wrong moment one day. Petch for the same reason. And Mike. Well, Mike because he'd been there for the fallout of that final argument.

Because he'd basically had to put Krist back together again.

It feels like a lifetime ago that he and Singto had been in Phuket, in the private villa that Krist had rented as a surprise. But it also feels like it just happened yesterday too.

He knows every word of their argument almost like it's a script he had to learn. It's stuck in his head. And when he's having a bad week, it all comes pouring out and sits there staring at him until he either goes to the gym, or, like he's doing now, writes it all out the way he would have preferred it to go. The way things should or shouldn't have ended.

He's got twelve drafts of that day in his locked bedroom drawer - the one where he keeps things he doesn't want his maid, or his mother, to see.

There are things in there from his relationship with Singto that are too precious to throw away. Things that he might have destroyed in his anger if he'd been able to unlock the drawer. But thankfully Mike had known. Some sixth sense perhaps, or just from being observant. He'd known that Krist would not want to throw them away like he had deleted his line chat.

So, on top of the sweet little post its, instant photographs that Singto liked to steal from events, candy wrappers from secret dates, valentine's cards and gifts, his bracelet (engraved with their initials and not gifted to him by the fans) and his warmest and most precious blue hoodie with their names entwined; there are twelve pieces of crumpled paper. Each one is a version of their fight. But none of them are actually fights.

Krist blushes as he shuffles through them. There are a few where the story gets a little heated - kisses and more inked on the page. But mostly, they're sweet. They're full of promises to each other that they will always stay true, that they love each other and can survive anything together.

It is not how that conversation had gone. Even if Krist desperately wishes it was.

Any one of these scripts would be preferable to Singto throwing his hands in the air, exasperated because Krist just wouldn't listen.

Any of them would be preferable to Singto (who doesn't even like to drive on little roads) getting in their rental car and leaving him alone to 'cool off.'

Any would make him feel better about the way things had ended between them.

He rifles through them to find the one in which he thinks he has written himself the most mature. The one where he says all the right things, and, though he doesn't agree with Singto exactly, he shows that he respects his partner fully and is able to listen calmly without interrupting him every second so that Singto gets so exasperated he won't stay.

A tear sneaks it's way down Krist's cheek and he rubs at it absentmindedly. Tears are kind of normal these days, he's used to them appearing at inopportune times. It's simply part of his life now.

When he finds the paper he wants, he sits at his desk, Pluto jumping into his lap, and then painstakingly copies the entire thing out in his neatest handwriting.

It's been a while since he's done a lot of writing and it takes him so long that eventually Pluto gives up and goes to find Muffin and Krist finds them curled up on his couch when he's finally done.

He adds a short note at the top and then signs it neatly below. Lovingly adding a little K. Slips in the photos, pausing at the one of himself, but then deciding that Singto loves to collect these kinds of things and therefore it's just another part of his apology.

Then he finds an envelope and carefully copies the address he's stolen from Petch's phone. He's exhausted by now, so he scrawls his return address at the top carelessly, throws the letter on his desk and heads for a shower.

He'll post it tomorrow. If he still thinks it a good idea.

He forgot that his maid might see it before he does.

It's gone when he comes home from work.