Self love

chapter 14

"Are you losing your mind?" Abby practically yelled in my face “do you hear yourself?? You do realize we're talking about the guy who cheated on you then left you for your friend then avoided you for more than a month."

"Obviously” I replied rolling my eyes

"he made one like stupid apology ONE!! who even said it was sincere" I rolled me eyes yet once again.

 "kayli with all due respect you do realize that David doesn't want you any more...it’s over between you two… it’s been over for more than a month. He used you then he left you like trash, you're history to him and Josephine is his future and as much as we both hate to admit it they look pretty good together and they both seem happy so its best you just forget about him and move on… why are you drawing this thing out you need to just get over him already"

 Her words hit me hard and I sat there taken back in silence.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Kayli" she quickly said when she realized that I wasn’t going to respond.

"Too late for that” I said tossing my apple as far as I could into the bushes. She made me lose my damn appetite.

"Well sometimes the truth hurts"

"U call that the truth?"

"Yes I do and real friends tell you the truth and right now I'm being the realest friend you'll ever have"

"Right ok whatever" I replied with sarcasm and bitterness dripping from my voice. I dismissed Abby taking out my phone to signal that the conversation was done.

"Don't freaking try and shut me out when I'm telling you the truth for your own benefit.... you need to move on, don’t make it harder than it needs to be" she said coldly

"Have you ever been in love" I asked her

"Kayli you know how I feel about love"

"Exactly that’s what I thought and have you ever had your heartbroken before?"

"No" she said avoiding eye contact

"Exactly! You don f**king understand how hard this is for me. You think I want to still be in love with David? Do you think it’s my f**king choice!!?!ANSWER ME " I  yelled at her as tears streamed down my face. "It f**king hurts and the only person that can make it feel better is the one that did the f**king damage. Do you know how awful this feels, do you know how hard I’ve been trying to move on? Oh but you think you know everything huh? Well you don’t, you don’t even remotely understand the pain I’m feeling and I can’t describe. It doesn’t matter that over a month has passed it only gets harder and you’re not helping! Where the f**k were u when I was watching my boyfriend cheat on me" I cried hysterically "Did you experience the pain that I felt when It happened. Do you have any idea what it’s like watching the one you love kiss another person and hear them telling the same person that they love them? You just don't understand how hard this is for me. I've been crying myself to sleep every f**king night while you've been having sweet dreams. I'm  walking around  like i got my shit together but look at me....I'm falling apart!! And it’s not getting easier it only gets worse.... I need him.... I am nothing without him-"

"That’s not true Kayli you don't need him "she interjected softly “I know this is hard for you”

"NO YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME you don’t understand and you sure as hell don't know a damn thing about what I need..... What I need is a friend who's gonna support me right now and not judge me but obviously you can’t be that friend can you. I already know all the things that’s wrong with this but I'm doing the best I can god damit! At least give me a little freaking support." Breaking down I sobbed loudly into my arm.