Self love

chapter 22

Two weeks later

"So to wrap up today's meeting let's just have a recap of the pointers that we discussed today."

I grabbed the piece of chalk from the table and began writing on the mobile chalk board I had brought into the room.

1. Its okay to feel

We are all human beings and if you expect to be happy all the time then I'm sorry to burst your bubble but you won't be. You're gonna have bad days and sad days and all different kinds of days and moods and feelings. Sometimes you'll feel sad and that is ok. The key is to not dwell on these feelings for too long. Don't feed into your sadness or you're anger just let it pass naturally. It is normal.

2. Your life should be a no negativity zone

So there should never be negative thoughts in your mind. Not about yourself and not about anybody else. If there is someone is your life filled with negativity and bullshit, cut them off. You need to let them know that you will not tolerate any negativity or bad energy around you. It is important to remember that whenever you're getting in your 'feelings' and you feel all sad and gloomy you will be tempted to think negatively and fall back into the life you were in before but you have to fight it, don't give in.

3. No judging

Do not judge yourself. Not to be confused with self-assessment. The key difference is that with self-assessment you are simply just analyzing yourself but when judging yourself, one tends to only point out and dwell on a lot of negativity by pointing out all their flaws. Remember this is a no negativity zone so we can't have that.

It is not cool to constantly be down on yourself about whatever you think is wrong with you. This judging also applies to other people. We should never judge people we see or the people around us. It is not our place and it will certainly not make you feel better about yourself. That is a fact! So don't do it.

4. Praise and Appreciation.

Praise yourself for all the good and appreciate all that you have. When you've done something good treat yourself. Instead of focusing on all the times you've failed think about all the times you've achieved something. Look in mirror and tell yourself that you look beautiful every now and then.

Don't wait for someone else to shower you with compliments and love, do it yourself. Take the time to appreciate who you are in all your beauty. Learn to love your flaws because they are what make you who you are.

Be grateful for all that you have. You have been blessed with so many different things and all you have to do is just take the time to acknowledge them and appreciate them.

5. Take care of yourself

The whole point of this is to groom you mentally and emotionally but it's important to take care of the physical aspect too. Take the time to take care of yourself because you deserved to be pampered. Eat healthy, drink lots of water and exercise, these things will make you feel good and look good.

It has been proven scientifically that doing things like that will make you feel much better. Groom yourself in a way that will make you happy. If you like sweatpants and baggy t-shirts then wear it or if you like neon colors wear it. If you like curly hair take the few extra minutes to curl your hair for yourself in the morning and if you hate your muffin top then make time to work out and get rid of it. You can only benefit from investing your time in to taking care of yourself.

6. Reassurance

As human beings we all have doubts. You should reassure yourself when you have doubts. It's hard to but you gotta try and trust me it will get easier to do as times go on. So whenever you begin to doubt things reassure yourself that it will pass. It will get better. Your storms will soon be over.

And lastly

7. Do you!

Do what makes you happy. You can't live your life for other people; you gotta live it for yourself. So stop caring about what others will think, if something makes you happy then just do it. Live your life and be happy. Get a hobby, travel, make music, take pictures, write poetry, and make art.

Don't just sit there bored because then you'll begin to over think things and you'll end up right back where you were and we don't want that. So find stuff to occupy your thoughts and your mind. Don't push yourself too hard though, just move at a pace that you're comfortable at and things will be just fine.

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"Ariel can you please see me before you leave" I announce as soon as our meeting is over. My voice is barely audibly over the scrapping of chairs against the hardwood floor and chatter of the other attendees but I still manage to get her attention.

"Please have a seat" I motion to the chair beside me and she complies.

"Are you okay" I ask genuinely staring into her dark brown eyes.

"I'm fine" she replies dryly and I smile meekly at her

"Why is it that we as humans find the need to lie and say that we are fine when we really aren't? It's okay to not be fine and it's okay to share those feelings with people."

Her eyes move downwards to her lap to avoid making eye contact with me and she remains silent. Wasting no time I take her fragile hands into my own and give her a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm here for you. You're not alone anymore. There is no need for you to bear your burdens by yourself anymore. Sometimes, although we don't want to, we need to accept the help of others.

Their offer of being a friend to talk to might not seem too enticing and many times we reject it because we don't trust them or we don't want to bother people with our problem but it shouldn't be that way.

It's not good to keep everything all bottled up inside and even if you don't feel like talking to me at least talk to your support friend.

Everyone you see here they are you're new family and I need you to understand that you can come to me at any time for help.

So when you're ready to get help and talk about these" I point to the cut marks on her arm "You know where to find me"

Without any thought I pull her into a warm hug. Sometimes all you need is a comforting hug and to know that there is someone who cares.

At first she had been surprised by my sudden hug and her frail body had stood still under mine but she eventually responded and her arms slowly made their way around my back.

We sat like that for a while until she finally pulled away while releasing a large sigh.

"Felt good doesn't it" I stated and she nodded in agreement slightly embarrassed

"As I said before you ever need another one of those you know where to find me, Okay?" I asked and she nodded.