Autumn in Philadelphia Trilogy

The Return: Here Comes the Rain Again

"Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it." ― Lemony Snicket

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Life so seldom turns out the way you want it to, no matter how hard or how often you wish it would. And when things continually turn out the opposite of the way you want them to, it becomes very hard not to see yourself as the common denominator in those events and, eventually, you believe you are the reason things didn't work out.

Shawn Hunter stood in a small shop in Midtown Manhattan staring at the building across the street. Usually when he was back in the City he refrained from doing anything or visiting anything that would bring back certain memories. Thanks to Cory, however, he was back in his childhood whether he wanted to be or not. His extraordinarily wonderful and frustrating best friend was holding his photography equipment hostage until he met face to face with his former mentor. He suspected Topanga was an accomplice to the theft. He turned his gaze away from the people on the street scurrying to get out of the rain and studied the sign above door of the building:

The Library Hotel

Memories came flooding back:

Their sophomore class unleashed on the Big Apple.

Him.

Cory.

Topanga.

Jon.

Audrey.

The New York trip was a blur for Shawn now. A pleasant blur, one he sometimes desperately wished he could recall in detail. So much went on in just a few short days. For a few of those short hours it was just him, Jon, and Audrey. That was what he wished he could remember the details of: going to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, dinner afterwards, just the three of them. Happy. Together. Shawn could no longer remember where they ate, though he tried to find it many times later on. Maybe, like Audrey, it was no longer there. He could just faintly recall a spectacular showdown between Jon and Katherine that nearly occurred in the lobby of the Library when they returned from their night out. That did happen, didn't it? Shawn shook his head. He wasn't sure if that actually happened or if just one of the those daydreams he convinced himself had happened. It may have also been a daydream that Audrey had taken them to meet her father just before the class was to head back to Philadelphia. Just like the Empire State Building, Times Square, and the Statue of Liberty it was all just a ghost of a memory. Cory and Topanga both swore for years he tried to get Jon and Audrey to buy him a life-sized Lego Darth Vader for a mere $5,000 as a souvenir from F.A.O. Schwartz. Shawn couldn't remember that happening or even going to the toy store. Often when the group would talk about the trip Shawn felt as though he hadn't even gone, that was how little he could recall.

Perhaps that was due to what happened after they returned home. The school year seemed to race to its conclusion and just as rapidly every thing seemed to go very wrong. Although Audrey's student teaching tenure ended before the school year did, she made arrangements with her school and Mr. Feeny to see the year conclude. But it never happened.

Shawn inhaled deeply, watching the raindrops splash against the window pane. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think back to when they lost Audrey.

Although they had been inseparable once back in Philadelphia, Jon and Audrey started to have problems, stemming from the fact Jon was convinced she was hiding something serious from him. He tried to get his friend to leave it alone so their good life wouldn't be disrupted, but the English teacher refused to listen. Then a month before her internship concluded, Jon sat him down to tell him that Audrey had finally told him the reason for her departure from Julliard: bulimia nervosa. She left Julliard to seek treatment because her health had declined to the point she could no longer dance. She lost her spot at the school as a result. When she received news of a downturn in her father's health, along with the stress of starting student teaching far from home, she began to struggle with the eating disorder again. She needed help now and that meant returning to New York for treatment, effectively ending her student teaching and putting her education on hold. In spite of himself, Shawn cracked a smile his teenage self coming up wild scenarios to keep Audrey in Philadelphia while she got help. One involved a museum dinosaur.