Autumn in Philadelphia Trilogy

The Return: In My Father's House

"At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey." ―Lemony Snicket

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The question caught Jonathan off guard and it took him a while to gather his thoughts. He knew the answer of course; it wasn't something he had to think about it. It was simply that it had been so very long since Shawn had come to him about something serious that he'd had forgotten the younger man would often changed directions suddenly during a conversation when something was weighing on his mind. As he looked into his former charge's eyes he could see the maelstrom that churned beneath the surface. Audrey's eyes would have this same look when was she was bothered by something she didn't know quite how to bring up to him. Jon noted this similarity with some surprise.

"I met the right one," he said finally.

The answer didn't seem to help Shawn much. It wasn't much of an answer perhaps, but it was the truth, and there was nothing he could embellish it with to make more than what it was.

"What about kids?"

"You changed my mind a great deal." Shawn didn't seem convinced, so Jon elaborated: "You made me realize what it would be like to have kids. To be responsible for another person and not so centered on myself. Having you around changed me. I don't think I would have wanted kids at all if it hadn't been for you. Or at least I would have resisted it. I don't know, Shawn. Audrey always wanted kids, I didn't. If it hadn't been for you, we may never have gotten together."

Shawn nodded, lost in his own thoughts. He was quiet for so long that Jon wasn't sure if he should say anything or just be present. He opted to follow his wife's frequent example by remaining where he was and waiting.

"Audrey said Angela came to see you guys."

"Yeah, she thought we might be able to help her talk to you. I'm afraid we didn't have much to offer."

"Angela was the last stable relationship I had," Shawn said as though the concept drained his energy. "I suppose you could call it stable. I tried dating after her, but," he shrugged his shoulders indicating the level of apathy he felt. "I'd go out with a girl a few times before I couldn't stand the thought of seeing her again. Then I'd find someone else. Same thing every time. Eventually, I'd give up, throw myself into work, then start the whole thing over again."

"Been there. Dated that. Hated that."

Shawn regarded him inquisitively. "Why did you date after Audrey? Especially if you were going to get her after the school year ended?"

Jon sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't plan on going to get her; not until much later. In the beginning I was just angry. I dunno, my way of rebelling, I guess. Faced with a year without her, I did everything I could to forget her. I tried telling myself I was better off without her; that I'd end up trapped in a marriage I didn't want if she had stayed. I threw myself into dating and, just like you, I couldn't make it more than maybe three dates in before I was done and ready to move on and not look back. It got worse after you left. I couldn't stand to come home to an empty place, so I was never there. Some times I don't know where I was, but I wasn't there."

Shawn was surprised by this admission as Jon had just accurately described his own feelings since Angela left with her father and chosen not to come back.

"How'd you get through it?"

Jon gave a small laugh. "As odd as it sounds, Audrey got me through it. See, eventually, I called her. I just wanted to hear her voice, so I called during a time I thought she'd be gone and the answering machine would pick up. But it wasn't the machine that answered and we started talking again."