Chapter 15 : infirmary

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The imperial on-call doctors wasn't there.

I'm not surprised. Nope.

Goddess knows this world doesn't like me. Nope. I mean, that cradle robber of a heroine is leading down the dark path of the so called harem route because she's greedy and insane!

...I haven't met her, luckily, but she crossed a line when she approached my baby sister who isn't even in primary yet!

Yes, I was surprised to learn they had schools outside the royal academy as well! I didn't go to one, frail body and all, but Jullianne is! It was quite exciting to learn that she has an adorable burgundy red uniform dress to wear on the four days a week she's to go to class in the port town a little ways away from the manor.

Ahhh, I wish I had a camera. Maybe I should invent one! ...never mind. That's a disaster waiting to happen. I'd have to figure out how they worked in the first place (I really miss google!) and then try to replicate it using god knows what and magic. Because I'm lazy. Maybe they have some sort of equivalent to a camera besides a painting.

We're getting one of those, of course! I'm even going to hang mine in my parlor at the estate the king gave me last summer after I saved his life.

Want to hear about that, don't you?

Well, it was mid summer, and the temperature was well over thirty-eight degrees Celsius, quite hot for this region, even if it was in summer. It was a royal event, so the crown had to be done up, only thing was that the king and his family were in a very thick material meant for winter.

Naturally, King Midas had a heatstroke.

I saved him. A little ice magic, some slight healing, a blessing (because I had NO training since my "mentor" is on an extended vacay in a tropical unnamed temple at the moment,) from the goddess and he a right cookie.

...what's a right cookie?

Anyways, to thank me he decided to give me an estate, the whims of the monarchy, am I right?

I quite fancy it though. It's pretty. Too bad I never get to spend time in it!

I spin around from where I had decided to snoop...don't judge me, and try to glare at the graying plump doctor who waltzes into MY infirmary with unprofessional crumbs littering his long Gandolf-like beard. Seems someone has been dipping into the literal cookie jar.

I might need to fire someone. That hasn't happened in a while, not since the male maid who tried to cop a feel a few years back. Irene made damn sure he could never touch another young boys toosh, breaking both his hand and all his fingers...and injuring a place where the sun doesn't shine. Oof. Though, if the goddess had her way, he would've burst into flames. God fire flames. Which, honestly would've been cool, but highly inappropriate.

Bad picture, goddess of love, life, and prosperity.

"Took you long enough," I drawled in an unfriendly tone.

the pompous plush man simply harrumphed and sat on a typical wheeling chair you'd find in a doctor's office. it made a pathetic sound and the wheels seemed to want to give out.

yep, fired. so, so fired.

"come over here, boy! lets do this quickly so I can get back to more important matters," the fat man barked.

did he just refer to eating cookies like Po in Kung Fu Panda as "important matters"? does he think healing the pope from potential ink poisoning and blindness is not an important matter?!

Wait...he called me boy...does he not know that I'm the pope? does he live under a rock?!

"well, boy, come here, quickly! I haven't got all day so stop diddle-dallying," the physician yelled.

oh goddess. I want to flay him

alive and then feed him to the wyverns. because, whilst we don't have dragons, we have wyverns, which are basically mini dragons with smaller arms!

they're adorable and I've asked the goddess for a purple one for my birthday! She smiled mysteriously so hopefully there'll be a purple and green egg in my possession before the seasons out.

The fat man calls me over again and this time I decide to deign him with my presence.

He asks me what wrong, as if he's oblivious to the ink staining my skin and hair (my robes are blessed by the goddess and therefore cannot get dirty. A blessing, I'm told.).

"I got frustrated and threw my ink jar leading to my current predicament." I told him. Yep, talking like drake. Hmm. He's really rubbed off on me. Oh well.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks me over before lifting a hand to my face, which I promptly block.

"Uhm, you clearly had been eating prior to coming back, not to mention there's crumbs in your beard."

His jaw ticked.

"Your point?"

"Did you wash your hands after you ate or were you trying to touch me with contaminated hands?" I ask him.

I'm sure I'm coming off snobbish and spoiled but I got sick enough times last life to know what I'm talking about. This life, I never get sick unless I was poisoned. How quaint, huh goddess?

He rolls his eyes before grabbing a wet rag that appears out of thin air and roughly wipes him hands. That'll do, I suppose. "Happy?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

I said nothing.

He forcefully removes my hand from my eye and gets to work first carefully rinsing my eye with holy water ( again, bath tub water, disgusting!) followed by a few light spells before he gave me a potion to drink in case of ink poisoning and eye drops for the next few days.

He's...efficient, I'll give him that, but I still don't like him.

So tempting to fire him!

Oh well, it's fine.

I feel refreshed. I think.

Geh, I need to get back to work.

I sighed.

This is going to be a long night.

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