Beating Heart// Lashton

Chapter 4

Boys

Finally now it's all making sense

We like boys

It's a love story, with a twist

We like boys

I found my new gay best friend

He likes boys

Oh-oh-oh, boys, oh-oh-oh

Boys

-He Likes boys By Simone Battle

Ashton's POV

I stepped out of the shower and wiped some of the steam off of the mirror so that I could body check.

Absolutely awful. I don't know what I expected, I knew I would have negative fifteen satisfaction towards the reflection. I'm so disgusting. 

I ran my hand over my chest and stomach, hoping to flatten it out. I was surprised when I could feel my ribs and hip bone sticking out, but I immediately told myself they weren't as prominent as they should be, there is still fat. So much fat.

I wanted to hurl just looking at myself.

Just then I heard my phone ring. I checked and it was Nia. I was in for it. 

"Where the fuck did you go?" She practically screamed into the phone. 

"Home," I answered, I knew she would want more information but I was just too tired to give it to her willingly. She'll have to fish for it.

"Okay, why the fuck did you go home?" She specified.

"Wasn't feeling good." It was true, I didn't necessarily lie.

"Ash, bullshit." She knows.

I sighed," I made myself sick after lunch-"

"Why?"

My frustration took over and I may have raised my voice a bit, "Maybe cause you forced me to eat fucking pizza!"

"Okay, I don't appreciate the attitude but I will never apologize for making you do something that is necessary. You hadn't eaten anything in a few days. You needed to eat."

"Whatever." I knew she was right, but my eating disorder was beyond pissed at her, I knew I  wasn't made at her. "Jack caught me, but didn't do too much damage, I did most of that."

"Ash," she sounded sad. She had every right to be sad. I know she cares, sometimes she cares a little too much though.

"It's whatever," I say, not knowing what else to say.

I could hear her exhale deeply. "Well, I have to get to Chemisty, but we're going to talk more about this. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'll be okay, have fun in chem!" I offered with too much enthusiaum. She groaned and I laughed.

"Bye, I love you," I could feel the warmth from those three little words.

"I love you too, bye." The call was over.

~~~1 Year Ago~~~

I was cornered by Ben and Jack at my locker. We had a crowd watching. Ben attracted a crowd by making an anouncement.

"So turns out our little Ashy boy has a secret little boyfriend," Ben told the crowd, and in turn got a bunch of gasps. 

The boy they were talking about was a guy I was chatting with online on my laptop in study hall. 

"Don't you mean girlfriend?" A voice corrected. I had no idea who that voice belonged too, and I had no idea why she made a correction when there was no correction to be made. 

The girl pushed through Jack and Ben. She had bright pink hair and was wearing all black. "Hi, Honey." 

Before I had anytime to process what was happening, her lips were on mine. It was a passion-less passionate kiss. We pulled away, and I tried as hard as I could to not show the shock I was experiencing on my face.

Jack laughed, "So you're PenguinKing17?"

"Yes, a girl can be a king," she said so matter-of-fact. "Now, we have a date to attend to," she informed everyone, including myself as I had no date planned with a girl I don't know.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd and out of the school. 

"What the actual fuck?" I asked, allowing my surprise and confusion to flow out now that the whole school wasn't watching.

She crossed her arms. "A thank you would be nice."

"I don't know who you are."

She uncrossed her arms and put her hand out. "Nia Lovelis, Freshman, just moved here a few weeks ago. And you are?"

"So you don't know me either and you still thought it made sense to kiss me," I said, honestly a bit baffled.

"Look," she paused, not knowing what to fill the space with.

"Ashton, Ashton Irwin, Junior."

"Look, Ashton, I just saved you from those homophobic butt-plugs. Now you won't be bothered by them."

I laughed, I couldn't stop myself. "They bully me for literally anything, they won't ever leave me alone until they graduate."

"Okay well, I can help you at least to not get bullied for being gay. I can be your beard, I've been one before," she said, so sure that she was my savior.

"I don't need a girl protecting me, that'll just make things worse."

"Sexist much?" She scoffed. "But kind of valid, if they bully you over texting another guy, then they surely wouldn't like that. Look, I won't be your big buff body-guard, but I can be your," she made finger quotes, "girlfriend," she put her hands down. "You'll have an ally. I will tear down those homophobes with my words if they bother you again."

I turned to go back through the doors of the school.

"I appreciate it, but I haven't had anyone on my side besides my mom for a really long time. I'm used to being alone, I don't need a beard," I explained to her.

"Well you're gonna have to accept my support because I'm hard to get rid of."

I opened the door and walked in, leaving her standing on the steps.

~~~

And now I truly know she was right, she's hard to get rid of, but I stopped trying only a few weeks after meeting.

As I knew it wouldn't work, the beard thing didn't last long. The usual continued with Jack and Ben, just when Nia wasn't around. But having someone to rant to about what they did was very nice, unfamiliar, but nice nonetheless.