Beating Heart// Lashton

Chapter 16 Part 2

But I'm barely hanging on

No, I'm barely hanging on

By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone

And now there's nothing to do

But scream at the drunken moon

This isn't fair (no)

Don't you try to blame this on me

My love for you was bulletproof

But you're the one who shot me

And goddamn it

I can barely say your name

So I'll try to write it and fill the pen

With blood from the sink

-Bulletproof Love By Pierce The Veil

~ An Hour Earlier~

Ashton's POV

I was shaking like an addict without their fix.

My arms were on fire. I scratched at the cuts I made just a few hours ago. I needed more. 

With haste, I got out of my bed and went to the bathroom. I hadn't even made an effort to hide what I had been doing. The razor was on the floor, in a small puddle of blood.

I took off my pants and the stained shirt. 

My reflection looked back at me and I could see it mouth "disgusting" at me. I sat down on the floor, leaning against the tub.

It started with one cut on my thigh, but I felt numb. Absolutely no relief came.

I did another, then another, and another. Still nothing.

Maybe I need to go deeper. I need this, I need to feel something.

I continued on my thigh, and I finally felt something. Although, I was running out of room. So I moved to my arms.

With each cut I went deeper and deeper, and it wasn't until both thighs and both arms were destroyed with cuts and there was blood seeping into the floor under me that I realized I went somewhere I may never return from. 

I felt peace. I laid down, the sticky blood staining my skin.

My eyes closed and I drifted out of consciousness.

Then I was brought back, by banging. I could barely keep my eyes open. 

Everything went dark again.

Again, I was brought back by banging, but this time much closer.

I let my eyes fall shut.

Suddenly, Nia was standing over me, screaming and crying. She grabbed the towels on the back of the door and wrapped my wrists with them.

"Nia," I said with a faltering voice.

"Ashton, why?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She was crying harder as she put pressure on the cuts. I tried to take her hand off my wrist, but my vision was distorted and I couldn't seem to find it.

"Let me go,"

"No! Help, Help!" She screamed. I winced at the loud noise. 

I was out again.

There was a lot of commotion as the paramedics worked around me, on me.

"Stop," I barely got out before I left.

I woke up in the ambulance, the sirens screeching. I wanted to cover my ears, but my hands were held down. 

They shined a bright light in my eyes. I fought back against whatever held me down on the gourney.

"Ashton, stay with us," an unfamiliar voice said.

"No," I whispered and I was gone.