Beating Heart// Lashton

Chapter 18

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

'Cause after all, you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

And I pray to God he hears you

- How to Save a Life By The Fray

Luke's POV

I fucked up.

I was selfish, I wanted him, needed him, and I got him into this mess.

If I had never told Jack and Ben about the crush.

If I had never kissed Ashton.

If I had never brought Ashton to my house.

If I had never promised Ashton I'd never leave him alone.

I fucked up.

I ruined his life, literally. He's dying, and it's all my fault.

I know where I went wrong.

Nia's POV

I should have done more. 

There's so much I should have done.

I let him down, I wasn't there for him. 

He wanted to die. 

He begged me to stop. 

He didn't want help. 

He gave up.

I didn't know how to save him.

Did I just lose a friend?

Michael's POV

Nia had a death grip on my hand, but I didn't care if she ended up breaking my hand. She needed me. 

This all happened so fast. We just got together and now we're facing a life or death situation.

I had just met Ashton and he was really cool, and now I may never see him again.

God I hope I get to hear him do what he loves again.

When Nia called me in a panic after finding him, I was shocked. I also felt like, I had just seen him a few days ago, what if I could have done something different. I don't know what I could have done, I don't know how to save a life. 

Calum's POV

I saw his sadness, I knew he wasn't okay. 

I saw him barely eat anything on that first day. 

I saw a few scars when his sleeve lifted as he played for us.

I didn't say anything.

I could have said something. 

I knew he needed him, I knew best, but I didn't say a single thing.

Anne Marie's POV

I had no idea what was happening. 

All of what Nia told me a few hours ago was a shock.

He was bullied.

He hated himself.

He didn't let anyone help him.

My baby boy didn't feel loved, didn't see the good in life.

If I had known,

I would have stayed up with him all night.

If I had known how to save his life. 

__________

This is a note to anyone who is struggling with suicidality:

People care, whether you believe so or not.

They will forever wish they could have done something more to help.

You will be missed (Listen to Missing You by All Time Low).

Fight, stay here, as cliche as it sounds, it will get better.

Lean on support, ask for help. 

I'm here fighting to each next day, you are not alone.