Beating Heart// Lashton

Chapter 14

I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)

Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)

(Hope that you can keep it)

My dirty little secret

Who has to know?

When we live such fragile lives

It's the best way we survive

I go around a time or two

Just to waste my time with you

-Dirty Little Secret By The All-American Rejects

Ashton's POV

"Ashton, Luke," Calum called out. I just nestled my head further into the crook of Luke's neck.

"I woke you up ten minutes ago and you just went back to sleep. We have to go to school, you have five minutes to get your asses up or I'm going without you," Calum informed us.

I groaned and finally got off of Luke. He stirred but it seemed he was not going to get up.

"Lukey?" I asked.

"Mhm," noise, that's progress.

"School."

"No."

"Yes, or no kisses today," I said and he immediately shot up to a sitting position. 

"Good morning," I said and gave him a peck. He was smiling as I pulled away.

I got up to stand, but dizziness came over me. Not to freak out or anything, but my vision went black for a few moments. I stumbled to try to find the couch but didn't make it far. I fell back down on the floor, ontop of Luke.

"Ashton?" He shouted with panic.

"It's fine, I'm fine, just-" I started to try and get up again but Luke pulled me back down onto him.

"I fell on you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" I was worried that my weight crushed him.

"No, are you okay?"

My vision came back and I almost wished it hadn't because the look of concern on his face made me feel bad.

"It happens sometimes, I just stood up too fast. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" He took my hand in his. I nodded. 

"Do you think you can get up now?" He asked. I nodded again.

"Slowly," I said. He stood up, never having taken his hand out of mine. He pulled me up, and once I was standing, he held me tightly in case I would fall again.

"You're like paper," he said sadly to me. I just looked at him, confused. "Can you eat again today?"

"Maybe," I said. He wasn't pleased about that answer. 

"You guys up?" Calum said as he walked into the room.

"Yup," I said, thankful to be saved by him. "Where's Nia? And Michael?"

Calum shook his head, "The door's locked. I tried to get them up but Michael just screamed 'Fuck off Calum before I break your bass' and I decided to just give up," he said, using air quotes with a humiliating Michael-voice. 

I nodded. "Okay and Nia?"

"Obviously with him," Calum said like I should have known.

"Right, they definitely fucked," I said.

"What?" Luke was shocked.

"Definitely," Calum said. 

Calum was the only one prepared, he had brought a bag over to Michael's yesterday, so he had changed and brushed his teeth. Luke and I were not so prepared. So Calum went off to school while we stopped at Luke's, since it was only five minutes away from Michael's and ten away from the school.

We walked in the door and I immediately wished we hadn't. Because there was Ben and Jack. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jack screamed at me and came towards us. I shrunk into myself.

Luke quickly swept in to the rescue, "Chill, we had band practice and fell asleep. He's just gonna get ready here since his house is further."

Jack got in Luke's face. I didn't realize until now that they're about the same height. With anger he said, "You can be a fag behind closed doors, but to bring him here, that's unacceptable. And if you even think about being fags at school, I will kill you." 

I stood as far away from Jack as I could while I watched this go down. Luke didn't even flinch. He just took my hand and we rushed upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door and locked it.

He didn't say anything at first, just looked at the closed door.

"Are you okay?" I asked, gently placing my hand on his back.

"Are you?" He asked. 

"I'll be okay," I answered, trying to convince myself. He echoed my response, and I worried that he didn't fully believe he would be, like I didn't. 

He turned around and put on a smile. I reached my hand out and cupped his cheek. We stood there for a little. We were definitely going to miss homeroom and maybe even first period, but that was okay.

"No one needs to know. We don't need to include everyone else in this." I told him. "That's safest."

He nodded and kissed my thumb.

"You can shower first," he said, moving on like nothing had happened. 

--

We walked into school seperately. We didn't stop at each other's lockers at any point during the day. We didn't sit together at Lunch. Luke didn't even come find me when school was over. He didn't say goodbye. I guess this is what we'll be doing. Ignoring each other, acting like nothing has ever existed with us.

I didn't want to be a couple at school, but I thought we'd still be friends...