Beating Heart// Lashton

Chapter 15

Oh, a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fall out

So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls up, I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

-The Story of Us By Taylor Swift

Ashton's POV

I waited outside of the school for a half hour, hoping that Luke was trying to find me, but when I checked the time for the billionth time, I gave up. There's no way that he was looking for me. I started walking home.

While I was walking, I felt something wet on my cheeks. It was tears. I was crying. I walked faster.

I got to my house and unlocked the door with blurred vision. I was full on sobbing now. Once I was in, I rushed up to the bathroom. I found the hidden razor and did not even hesitate to pull up my sleeve and cut into my wrist. 

One

Two 

Three

Four

The tears kept coming. I took off my jeans and sat down on the cold tile floor.

I didn't know what I was carving into my thighs until I was done.

"Unwanted"

I didn't feel any relief yet, so I thought that meant I needed more.

"Fag" that one is a common one. It's been written in several times, and redone each time it's faded. This time the original is still bright red, and the new one is on the opposite thigh.

The crying finally stopped as the numbness took over. There was a lot of blood dripping from my arm onto my thighs, and the blood from my thighs dripping onto the floor. I didn't care.

I knew I needed to clean up, and I would, but just not right now. I rested my head against the wall. 

Everything was perfect, and in less than twenty-four hours, it fell apart.

He hates me. 

I couldn't stop myself, I checked my phone for a message from him. Nothing. I thought about texting, but if he didn't already text, he must not want to talk to me. 

Instead of texting, I turned on music. Taylor Swift.

I was three heartbreak anthems in when I realized, blood was staining my fallen down sleeve. It was drenched. Great. If that wasn't bad enough, I now noticed that there was a pool of blood beneath me that covered a good portion of the floor. Goddamn it.

This is when I need Luke, to help clean up my mess. Bandage me up and kiss it better. But no one's going to save me. Luke definitely won't.

I got up and started cleaning up. All I did for wound care was just wrap some gauze over the cuts. I put on my jeans, scrubbed the floor, and then I went to bed even though it was only four in the afternoon. 

Luke's POV

Jack was waiting for me at home. I walked through the door and was immediately decked.

"Digusting, Luke, disgusting" 

"What the fuck?" I wiped my nose with my sleeve. No blood, that's good.

"You brought that fucking faggot into this house, I can't believe you!"

"His name is Ashton," I said coldly.

Jack glared at me. "Are you seriously fucking that trash?"

And I finally lost it. I pushed him hard, into the wall. He was surprised, but recovered quickly and attacked me.

"You're a fucking fag! I hate you! Disgusting piece of shit!" He was kicking my stomach now. "Never bring him here again." One last kick. I stayed on the ground in fetal position.

He started to walk away, but I wasn't done. "I don't care how many times you beat me, I'm not going to stop liking him."

Jack turned back around. "Then I'll beat him senseless if I ever see you with him again."

"Don't you dare. Leave him alone," I pleaded.

"Then you better leave him."

He left me there. I was crying. 

Ashton's POV

I woke up at midnight and checked my phone.

Luke had texted me.

"I can't see you anymore."

I laid back down and cried myself to sleep.