COMPLETED | Take Me Down The Rabbit Hole (BDSM | 18+)

XIX

Aspen's orgasm felt like a flood wave as it washed over him, and once he regained the little bit of consciousness that Alan's fingers had taken from him, he realized that not only had Alan taken the blindfold off of him, but also that had he not been bound to the bed by his wrists, he would have collapsed right on top of his semen. 
Yuck.
But unsurprisingly, he didn't care for that. 
He turned his head, craning his neck to try to look at Alan. "You broke your own rule," he mumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone, though he tried to make it sound accusatory. 
"Did I?" Alan asked, pushing his hair from his face as he pulled away from Aspen, only to lean over him to undo the bonds. 
Aspen scrambled off the bed - to avoid getting messier than he already was, and because he was intent on continuing this ... argument, but as soon as he stood next to the bed, shivering in his post-orgasm daze, he saw the strap on harness's strings criss-cross at Alan's hips and he froze. 
"Aren't you going to look at the dick that railed you?" Alan asked, and he too, got out of the bed, standing in front of Aspen just as naked - almost. 
He was still wearing his boxers, but they had a wet spot on them, and the soft dildo that had been screwn onto the harness base hung limply between his legs. "I know what you want, Aspen. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me, and right now I'm seeing a man who thought he'd finally gotten what he wanted." 
Caught. Again. 
"I can't want this," Aspen mumbled. "I can't have it, and I shouldn't-"  he broke off before he could say it. 
Alan narrowed his eyes at Aspen and then, he stepped out of the harness. It dropped to the floor, giving a soft thump as the toy hit the wood panels. 
"You shouldn't desire me?" Alan asked. Those words knocked the air from Aspen's lungs.  
Aspen took a step back in panic. "I'm not-" he hummed and hawed. 
"Yes, you are. There is no shame in that, Aspen. I was expecting it. I'm prepared for it. But it's your guilt that's eating you up on the inside." 
"You are engaged," Aspen bit out, not trusting his tongue with any other words. 
"I am. But this isn't a romantic relationship, Aspen." 
Aspen could only nod. 
"And my fiancee knows this is happening."
Another nod. Then- "Do you tell him what we do in the bedroom?" 
Alan laughed. "No. What is there to tell? I don't take my pleasure from you." 
"You came from pegging me."
"And yet there was no physical contact." Alan took a step forward, closing the distance between them again. "I don't make you work to please me the way I make Spencer work for it." 
For a moment, Aspen got caught up in thoughts about how many differences there were between what he had with Alan - if it was anything at all - and what Alan had with Spencer.
"Here's what's going to happen, Pet, " Alan said slowly.  "On your knees." 
For a moment, Aspen considered walking out. He felt ... betrayed. But he was naked, and filthy, and he was wearing Alan's collar. It would feel like more of a betrayal to him if he denied himself this one thing. His bottom lip potruded slightly, and he swallowed harshly, feeling how his adam's apple bobbed in his throat. 
And then he lowered himself to his knees. 
"We're going to clean you up," Alan started, reaching out and pushing the hair from Aspen's sweat-laced forehead, "then we're going to come back here for aftercare and to clean up, and then, there's someone else I want to introduce you to tonight." 
Aspen had almost protested, thinking for a second that Alan would take him to see Mistress Allison again, but he kept his mouth shut. 
"Any objections?" 
"No, Sir." 
"Good boy. Get up." 
Aspen scrambled to his feet and watched as Alan went over to where he had dropped their bag, opened it and pulled out towels, bathrobes and a zip-lock bag with soap and shampoo inside. He turned, throwing one of the robes at Aspen, who caught it and slipped it on. 
Alan didn't say anything as he opened the door to the hallway, but when Aspen joined him at the doorstep, Alan's hand closed around his wrist like a cuff, and Aspen had no choice but to let Alan drag him along, further down the corridor until they reached a door that was labeled 'showers'. At this point, nothing about these establishments surprised Aspen anymore, and he kept his head down as Alan pulled him into a cubicle, and then reached around Aspen, opening the clasp of the collar. 
The shower passed in silence, and Aspen kept his back turned to Alan so he wouldn't have to see the thing that he still, stupidly, wished he could have. 
And Aspen remained silent as Alan fitted him with a cock ring and a vibrating buttplug before making Aspen change into fresh clothes and setting him to work cleaning up their playroom. But Aspen didn't mind. He needed the distraction that the chore provided, even if only for a few minutes. He could afford to forget the fact that he was attracted to Alan and that, once again, he had not managed to just be a good submissive for one night for those few minutes. 
"Are you going to talk to me?" Alan asked into the silence from where he was casually leaning against the two-way mirror. 
"There's nothing to talk about, Sir." 
"I don't buy that bullshit," Alan shook it off immediately; his voice harsh. It was almost a threat. 
Aspen flinched. It'd been a while since he'd last heard Alan curse. 
Aspen threw the closet door shut, rattling the contents on their shelves. "You just told me that it's alright that I'm sexually attracted to you even though you have a fiance!" 
Darkness passed over Alan's face, and he looked as if he was going to reprimand Aspen for yelling. Instead, he pushed away from the mirror, collected their bag and finally cornered Aspen against the closet doors.  "You're beating yourself up because you think what we're doing here is hurting Spencer." 
They were so close that Alan's warm breath was hitting Aspen's face with every syllable spoken. If this was a mafia-romance, like the ones Spencer had whispered to him about when they spent their afternoons on the  couch without Alan, an argument like this would have ended in a kiss, turning this whole story into something that Spencer called 'enemies to lovers excellence'.
But Alan wasn't the enemy. He was a friend. 
"You forget the most important rule in BDSM," Alan whispered, a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. 
Aspen shook his head. "The submissive always has the last word, Sir." 
"And in this case," Alan said, his hand closing around Aspen's wrist once again as he dragged him out of the playroom. "The submissive in question is Spencer." 
It was settled, then. 
"I will let nothing of this sort happen as long as you both let me be in control. Now, pick up your pace, we're keeping someone waiting."