Forbidden [Under Review & Editing]

Forbidden

Prologue

Ever sit down and wonder, "where has my life gone to?" As you ask yourself that question a dozen more pop up and so slowly and little by little you begin to question your whole existence because you've done so much and somehow it's never enough.

That me. Every day. Every second. Ive lived life for a short while. Not even a fraction of it and still, I can see my life going no where. All around me, people I know are clueless to this question. They ride iddly by the river of life and for a the rocking haven't even noticed I'm not there anymore.

Then I feel it. Nothing. The abscence of feeling is still a feeling because you put thought into it. Well having nothing but time and questions can make things empty inside, so emptyness was there too. I guess nothing had someone to interact with.  Unlike me.

So sometimes loneliness just gets to me. Like a hot knife on butter, loneliness digs in to my very being and destroys all that I am from the inside.

At time I wonder. What if I disappeared? Even for a minute. Would anyone care? Really? I see my mother balling, my aunts and uncles trying to hold her as they seek me out, but really? Anyone outside close family wouldn't think twice about that weird dark hair freak.

My biggest fear has always been loneliness. No people, or annoying clowns with huge red noses. I don't even fear death as a concept.  The reason is because my mind is my own worst enemy. I can think of a hundred hells and when those are done I can think of a hundred more.

Sometimes I think about ending it. All of it. I'm tired of trying to be noticed when people just don't pay attention. Why try to make them see when they are blind to everything but their own little world.

So if I end it, will you see me?

To anyone reading this. I apologize for the late post. Just wanted to update you guys. I am thinking of doing an editing and updating on my story. I want to edit my story in such a way to show more detail and make it more interesting than it is already. It will be the same story just with added detail, and content. Like instead of saying "an Apple" i will say "That apple over there was eaten ravenously by a death monkey who simply loves red apples because it gives him bright golden wings."