Deleted- 지극

chapter 20

Jungkook pov:

Shit-

I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her trunk away from mine as I gasped for air, panting heavily. I shrugged my hands off her quickly and faced the other way, feeling my cheeks burning up from embarrassment. She titled her head with a confused stare and looked at my side, a bit worried as well.

"Kook-ah?" Her worried tone made me flinch as she tapped on my shoulder lightly. "Is everything alright?" Her voice was soft and low.

"N-no....I-I can't....I mean I don't-"
I shuttered as I tried to form a sentence but failed out each time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable-" She pondered with a glint of hesistance in her vocals but I was the one, growing up guilty on the inside.

"No, no don't be sorry. I don't know what got into me, I should've just told you earlier,"

I licked my lips and stared at the ground, recalling about the words Hobi had warned me earlier. He was right, I almost forgot that she still likes me and by doing this stupid mistake of mine, I just ruined our relationship additionally.

Goddamnit!

"Told what?" Her voice sound so innocent and soft and it took a lot of guts for me to spill out the truth to her, being aware of te fact that it's gonna break her heart into pieces. And as difficult as it is going to be for her to bear with the truth, it's equally gonna be difficult for me to recite it to her.

I took a deep breath and looked in her eyes, as our gaze locked and she seemed somewhat uncertain by now. Maybe she had guessed it already. "I'm sorry noona but......I love him,"

"Him?"

I stared at my hands, fiddling with my fingers and gave her a small nod in response. "Yes, Jimin. I-I love Jimin,"

I finally said it and I didn't dare to look up and watch her reaction, because I know she was hurt. After the kiss we shared right now in which I was a participant equally.

"I haven't told this to anyone....n-not even Jimin. B-But, I don't know what got into me just now. I didn't mean to hurt you by any instance. I-I'm really sorry noona," I whispered lowly, under my breath and I just hoped that she heard it all because I'm not in a mood to repeat it again and die out of embarrassment.

"It's okay Kook-ah...."

I looked over her side and she flashed me a weak smile.

"Everyone has a right to choose their own life partners and the who they like or dislike and I respect your choice. It wasn't like necessary for you to like me back and I don'tknow why but Im not surprised by your confession. Maybe I had no hopes in the first place..." She laughed, sighing to herself for the millionth time between her words, as she grabbed the can and took a sip of her beer.

"But it would've been a little easier for me if you had, you know expressed your feelings soon. Because I thought.......I thought we were close Jungkook-" She smiled and my heart ached at how she reacted, extremely opposite to my expectations.

"I'm sorry noona...I really am-" I pulled my lips and glared at her with puppy eyes.

She looked at me for a while and then scoffed a breath, facing the other side.  Maybe she was just hiding her tears because I definitely saw those glazed stares trying to look unaffected and cool while she comforted me a second ago. I watched her hand tightened around the can, crushing it down just before my eyes.