No one knows, but You. - Rafe Cameron

CHAPTER SIX: Let the players play

To understand what happens in this chapter, imagine that Rafe and Cassandra went home right after what had happened in the last chapter and are meeting up at My Druthers (Rafe's yacht) the following morning.

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*Rafe's POV*

That day I couldn't wait to see her. I thought about the girl night and day and in my sleep: when she was around me I felt reassured, untouched, so strong, and yet so vulnerable at the same time. This mixture of happiness impregnated with the distant smell of sadness made me feel "normal" again.

I had told her to meet up at my boat at 10.00 in the morning but she still hadn't arrived. Maybe she has changed her mind and doesn't want to see me anymore, I thought. It would have been perfectly understandable given the circumstances. Perhaps I did something wrong and was too thoughtless and brusque as always.

But still, I wondered if it was responsible and fair for her to be dragged in such a mess overnight. She knew my secret, and yet I had demanded her not tell anyone- as if it were easy to do. How could I expect this? What if she wasn't comfortable with the situation I had created?

Here she was. 'Hello Rafe, I know I'm late but I'm sorry!' she said while waving her hand to me. 'I don't care if you're late, I'm just glad you're here,' as I walked towards her. 'You know, I thought you had changed your mind.' I added. 'And why would I do such thing?' she joked. I could not see her eyes completely because both of our sights were darkened and clouded by the sunglasses, but judging from the expression on her face, it seemed to me that she was smiling. So I smiled, too.

I approached her, bowed down, and kissed her forehead while planting one of my hands on her back. She moved my hands slightly to tease me. 'I know you like me,' I suggested while looking at her eyes. 'And who said that?' she asked, her face mystified and trying to make fun of my usual behavior.

'C'mon, you know you can't resist me, Cassandra.' I smirked as I bit my lower lip. I suddenly and somewhat violently pinned her against one side of the boat, her chest rising up and falling down quickly because of the tension. While kissing her neck and devouring her smooth, fair skin, leaving dark traces of my lips on her, I breathed hot air in the hollow of her neck: she let out a moan to express her excitement and I continued to please her. 'See? I am never wrong. Am I?' I murmured the words in her ear with the sole purpose of turning her on.

I had her face squished between my hands and could feel her soft and delicate hands traveling from my neck, to my shoulders, to my chest, and finally lightly touching my bulge, which was now visible even with my trousers on. She had now started unbuttoning my linen shirt: I could feel her hands pressing against my chest and my lips, still invested in kissing her bare neck, were eager to join hers when I heard the sound of a text message. I knew it was him, it couldn't have been anyone else.

'Fuck.' I groaned stressfully, with my cheeks bright red because of anger. What the fuck had happened in this hour I was away? This was a reality check, and a very bad one.

My head had now started pounding. My heart was beating at an unusual speed. My insides felt as if they were on fire. At this point, I had persuaded myself that I could not have dragged her into this situation. I was afraid of what I could have done to her, or that she could have been in danger because of me. I needed to fix this mess and handle the matter without her.

I felt as if I cared about her, and for this reason, I thought it was best that she did not get involved in this. For once, I had managed to get rid of my visceral selfishness: this, however, involved letting her go. And the most efficient way to do so was to make her hate me. I had to hurt her feelings so badly she wouldn't want to see me ever again. She had to despise me.

'We can't do this anymore,' I said as I walked away from her and buttoned my shirt. I felt a nervous sensation for what I was about to say. 'What do you mean?' She asked confusedly, after having seen me cold and distant.

'It was just a matter of time before I got bored of you,' I started saying as my eyes darkened. 'Do you really think I was interested in you? You may be pretty, that's for sure, but to me it was just a game.' I claimed, trying to be as compelling as possible. 'You know what they say, Cassandra? Let the players play. I played, and now I'm bored with you.' I laughed hysterically, as an attempt to disguise the pain it caused me to utter those words.

'This doesn't make any sense, Rafe!' she answered, revealing a corrugated face and an anxious expression, accentuated by her particular gaze. As a matter of fact, it looked as if she was totally disappointed; as if I had let her down. 'Did you ask me to come here just to humiliate me and tell me how much you don't like me? Couldn't you have told me last night?' She added. 'You know what... I'm not even surprised. It was stupid and pretentious of me to expect something from someone like you.' She finally stated.

'I'm going to be honest with you because no one else will,' I stated. 'I wasn't interested in you, nor in the way you think or speak. I was just interested in fucking you. But God, I realized that you're so boring that now I'm not even interested in that.' I said as I had a hard time looking into her eyes. This was low, even from me. I don't know how I would have gone on after having said such horrible and twisted things to her, but I knew it was the only way she could have hated me.

This is the moment I realized I had feelings for her: nothing in my life had ever hurt me as badly as talking to her like that. I felt like a monster. I could see her expression change from disappointment to anger, and finally sadness. It was heartbreaking to think that she really thought I meant what I said.

'So this is it?' She asked. Her voice had cracked, as a tear rolled down her face. 'I think you made it pretty clear of what you think of me.'

'It's best if you go now.' I commented coldly, pretending not to care of what had just happened. Before leaving, she turned to look at me, as if she tried to look for some sort of reassurance. What I did was to pretend nothing had happened, but it was not easy to remain indifferent, so I looked at the ground.

'Watch your feet, Cassandra.' I shouted to remember her of the gap between the boat and the ground. I certainly did not want her to get hurt after all I had said.

*Cassandra's POV*

I walked home alone, trying to picture what had just occurred. The thing that had hurt me the most was not the rejection per se, but feeling mortified after what I had heard. Did people really think that of me? Am I so lame that no one can stand me?

He had just called me again to play with me, so cruel yet praising honesty, and had thrown me away like an old toy. All this in just a few days.

The conversation itself had left me profoundly disturbed: it remembered me how I felt that night years ago. The night I was raped. And I could still picture in my mind the sensation I was left with: I felt worthless, ashamed, dirty and disposable.

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Hello, friends.
I'm sorry if it took me a few days to post this chapter but I didn't feel very well and I ended up resting a bit. In the meantime, I want to thank you all for the sweet comments and the votes, they make my day everytime I see them!

I really hope you liked this chapter. In the next one you are going to understand the situation a bit more and I promise you that you'll get smut very soon, I just want to make sure that the timing is right!

Feel free to leave suggestions and, if you want to, leave a comment or click on the little star to vote for my story. It would mean the world to me!

Thank you for reading,
Cecilia<3.