No Hero

Polis is beautiful; Titus is ugly

Freya

A jolt shot through me, waking me from my dreamless sleep. I sat forward trying to catch my breath. Lexa lightly placed her hand on my back, grounding me. "You're safe" she whispered in a comforting voice. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I saw the cave was exactly the same. Lexa had propped herself on her elbow to lightly rub my back. "Lay back down" she said in the same soft tone. It was soothing. I laid back still getting my breathing back to normal. "Bad dream?" she asked after a moment.

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "I don't remember it was just this feeling that woke me up" I mumbled. This hadn't happened before. If I woke up this way it was due to a memory or dream. Rolling onto my side I ignored the discomfort from my healing bruises to look at Lexa. "How long have you been awake?" I asked. I don't remember her falling asleep. 

She looked completely alert, as always. "A few hours" she said. I could tell that it was still dark out. Possibly an hour or two from sunrise. "I also have problems sleeping peacefully" she said a breath later.

"Were you watching me?" I asked. We'd fallen asleep next to each other and she seemed comfortable in her propped up position. We had no blankets and used our bags for pillows.

Lexa laid down on her side and reached out to trace the bandage on my arm. "You aren't guarded when you sleep. You look almost relaxed" she said. Her voice was smooth.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Recently I feel I've been more open.

"You're very cautious of people and when you sleep you look calm until right before you wake" she said.

I chuckled softly. Of course I am cautious, enemies are everywhere. Anything can be an enemy, earth was still extremely different than space. "Is that a bad thing?" I asked lightheartedly.

Lexa smirked, "No it is not" she said. She trailed her hand to my hip. "You just look beautiful when you are relaxed" she said.

"Is that the only time I'm beautiful" I quirked an eyebrow.

She didn't seem to pick up that I was only poking fun at her. "Everything about you is alluring, Freya" she turned serious. "You get this look in your eye when you show your strong willfulness. You bite your lip when you are hurt, you're confident in a fight and even though you struggle to get on a horse you look magnificent riding one" she said. And as she spoke she held on to me as if I would disappear.

Her compliments caused me to feel a bit awkward. No one has ever said these things about me. I was my fathers soldier. Anna's scary friend. The girl from the rumors who killed guards and attacked the arks "freedom". Clarke's bodyguard. Grounder killer and prisoner. But it was obvious Lexa really believes what she said. I can read it in her eyes. Anna had said that Lexa would stare at me but I thought it was just general watching not admiring. "I've never heard anyone care about these parts of me" I managed to get out. "I'm not one to express emotion like this but with you I want to" I said. However, I didn't know how to put into words what I thought of her.

She moved her hand to the side of my neck, her thumb lightly following the scar along my jaw. "When you have something like this it becomes target. There are people who do not believe I should be commander" she said with a frown. "Azegeda will try to kill you if they find out how deeply I care for you" she told me.

I covered her hand with mine. "I will not let Azegeda separate us" I told her.

This put her slightly at ease. A smile larger than any I've seen on her face grew. She leaned forward to kiss me lightly. It was full of tenderness. I grabbed her shirt pulling her close. We stayed like that until the sun rose. We haven't gone farther than this but the feel of her body against mine made me wonder what it would be like with her. As Lexa gathered our things it was all I could think about. Her giving up power to me only to take it back. "You are lost in thought" she whispered in my ear, sliding her arms around me from behind.