Stuck on the Puzzle

Chapter One

Umabot ang gabi na nakatulala lang ako sa dapat sana'y reception namin. The theme was rustic wedding. Every detail was put according to our liking. There were baby's breath flowers everywhere, since I love those. He wanted wooden chairs and tables naman. There were also little lamps hanging and they truly look beautiful at night.

One by one, the caterers started fixing the supposed food for the guests. Timothy's mom wants the guests to eat kahit na walang kasalang naganap dahil sayang naman daw but they all shook their heads as a way of saying no. Maybe they were feeling sorry for what happened.

I was still in my wedding gown, my dream wedding gown. I wanted this for so long that when I saw myself this morning in the mirror, wearing it, I cried in happiness. Pinagalitan pa ako ni Alexa because my makeup would be messed up but I didn't care. Pumalahaw talaga ako ng iyak kasi ito yung pangarap ko. Ito yung naiimagine kong susuotin ko sa kasal ko. The make up artists were forced to retouch my messy eye makeup.

Narinig ko kanina iyong isang bisita namin na hindi ko naman kilala, mukhang kumare lang ni Mama Heidi, Tim's mom. She was talking with the other guests.

"Ya know what? I think that's the bride's karma. I heard kasi from some sources that she left her family for Heidi's son. Can you see a family member or even a relative of her here? Wala diba?".

Gusto kong umepal kanina sa tsismisan nila pero I stopped myself because they seemed right. Baka nga karma ko ito kasi hindi ko pinili ang mga magulang ko. Ni hindi nila alam na ikakasal na ako. Well, I think they know since I sent them an invitation but they just chose to not attend.

Mabuti na yata iyon, na hindi sila sumipot kung hindi baka pagtawanan pa nila ako sa nangyari. They will tell me that they were right all along. Tim is a bad news waiting to happen and I was so stupid to believe that we will be happy forever.

When Lex told me that I can't walk in the altar yet because the groom was still not in the church, I was in denial at first. Umasa talaga ako na baka prank lang. Gusto ko prank lang. Kung iyong iba ayaw na pinaprank, ako sa sitwasyong ito, gusto ko. Sana prank lang ang lahat.

Pero hindi naman. Malabo pa sa tubig ng ilog pasig na prank ito kasi wala na yung pari, wala na iyong mga bisita, wala na rin iyong pagkain, wala na lahat.

"Lor, do you want to rest na? It's already late". Nag-aalala na tanong ni Alexa.

I want to thank her right now kasi hindi niya talaga ako iniwan mula kanina. Tinitigan ko siya, I mouthed thank you. Unti-unting namuo ang luha sa mga mata niya. I guess she's feeling my pain right now. She's my best friend and then she also became friends with Tim. Kung may soulmate na jowa, si Alexa ang soulmate friend ko.

"I feel so sad for you right now Lor". Tsaka siya sumnghot. "Kasi, I know this is so important for you. Pero I also want to be strong because I am your only family here. I want to be strong for you because I know you need it right now".

I smiled sadly. "Lex, bakit ako?".

Ang daming tanong sa utak ko pero isa iyon sa nagpupumilit mabigyan ng sagot. Why me? I loved so much, so genuine, so true. I gave everything that I could give. I dedicated many years to loving him.

"Dahil ba hindi ko sinunod sina Mama at Papa? Dahil ba iniwan ko sila and I chose him? Is this my karma? Is this what I get for choosing to love freely and be happy?".

Alexa shook her head. "No, don't think of that. Honestly, wala akong maibigay na rason or even an explanation to why this happened to you. But remember that even in challenging times like this there's a purpose. Find it Lor".

"It hurts. It fucking hurts". I held my chest because it was so damn painful. I felt like my whole world was crashing in pieces and I couldn't do something to stop it.