The Mob (System)

Chapter 12 - Alters: 100% Negative 3

100% Negative, to his surprise and disappointment, decided that maybe Reigen wasn't really as bad as he previously thought. It all came down to a few points. Firstly, the therapist seemed to genuinely try to help the system, at least from what Negative observed. The protector still had doubts about it, of course, but they occurred less often and if ever, they all were disappearing quickly. Over the time, Negative grew even some sympathy towards Reigen. And it was a bit terrifying, because Negative wasn't supposed to trust anybody but his system. And he didn't want to trust anybody but his system.

Secondly, Reigen's advice and suggestions were actually working. Negative didn't expect it as well, but he saw quite some number of times that Shigeo used a grounding method proposed by the therapist. It was working – this way, his host was able to still engage in life outside if he really, really needed to stay fronting but couldn't focused due to the reality being so blurry and surrealistic at times. Reigen gave them all in-system advice as well. How to talk to some specific alters, how to communicate with White, if needed, how to manage time loss, blackouts and other crucial things that singlets didn't have to worry about. Negative wasn't as sceptical as at the beginning, because the things Reigen told them all worked for him too. He made himself a habit of asking Shigeo how the situation was outside, before taking the front, if he was switching with the host. It succeeded every time, and it was so much better than before they started therapy.

Though, Negative felt a little betrayed. Not by Reigen, but by himself. He never wanted to trust anyone. Even Teru. It took him such a long time to adjust to Shigeo being in a relationship with Teruki, because... All relationships were potentially dangerous. 100% Negative was ready for every occasion and he stayed cautious. But now, it didn't really work for Reigen. Negative gained trust to him and he felt as a loser. He didn't know if it was good that he trusted the therapist or if it was a mistake of him. And moreover, he still felt scared. Mostly of it all falling apart.

But he didn't have enough strength to pretend that his current feelings weren't real. So these few days ago, when he had been in the therapy and he had talked with Reigen, he had actually listened and cared about it all. It was annoying, truly. Reigen had been discussing some trauma responses with Negative, of course not talking about the trauma itself.

"It's far too early to begin the procedure of trauma processing." Reigen had said, smiling at Negative who just had kept his head down, trying not to look at the reason of his failure. They had gone off to discussing the system's fears and reactions to certain issues and events. And again, to Negative's surprise, he had found himself actually listening to Reigen and planning to adjust the new advice to their life.

Before, Negative had been sure he was the only one capable of helping Shigeo. Well, they were others in the system as well. But 100% Negative was the primary protector of Shige. The host was the most important person to him. Sometimes the alter wondered if he was even more vital to him than his brother. He was never able to answer that question.

It all came down to the fact, again, that Negative had listened. The following days, he had begun using the methods given by Reigen and he was impressed by how well they worked. It proved, one more time, that Reigen knew what he was doing. He had experience and he wasn't lying about being a therapist specialising in DID. It drove Negative mad – but he was mad at himself, not at Reigen. The therapist for sure wasn't an angel, but he genuinely tried to do best to his patients. He never judged anyone, what surprised Negative as well.

He was used to being judged by other people. These fuckers, that attacked the system throughout the years. The stupid jocks at school, Minori Asagiri, Tsubomi Takane, all of the toxic people they crossed their path with and lastly... The ones responsible for their first ever trauma.