Dear Augustus | I Never Let Go ✓

07 | Not In Control Anymore

My heart squeezes to death, nails digging into my palm to the point that it may draw blood. It hurts so much, so badly, that my insides constrict, and my eyes feel itchy. But I hold all these emotions inside as my gaze collides with Adrian's right before he places a shot from the center of the box into the bottom left corner of the net, landing that extra point on the scoreboard to win the game.

As the evening sky darkens, we're able to keep buckling down defensively and stifle Costa Rica's potent attacks. When the full-time approaches, they nearly score off a spectacular off-balance shot which our Keeper Noah parries off to seal our win.

Olivia almost jumps out of the bleachers into the track, but I pull her back on the seat.

Some of the tension from my limbs dissipates as Adrian flashes one of his charming, sunshine smiles in my direction before calling his entire team for a group hug. The crowd is already crazy with the cheers of victory, chanting his name, screaming their lungs out, and among them is Charlotte, going an extreme length of wild.

"That was so hot." She squeals in my ear as Noah pulls off his gloves with his teeth and winks in her direction. "God, I might kiss him right now. Do you mind if I leave "

"Go for it, girl," I mutter, my eyes still searching for his green ones. I was able to pull off my 'I'm doing fine' face in front of Olivia, or she would be spending the rest of her evening with me instead of going out with Noah, and I don't want her to do that so, I say, "Maybe, try to take his consent first."

Both of us look over to Liam sitting on the bench with a tight jaw and disdain itched on his red face, and we break into a fit of laughter. He didn't get a chance to play in the first home game of the season. As Olivia kisses my cheek and strides off to Noah, my mind goes back to Adrian, the boy who now stands surrounded by his team and coach.

I let myself capture the frowns on his forehead as he sips bottled water and runs a hand through his sweaty brown hair. He looks so young yet authoritative and totally in control of his responsibilities as a captain. A sudden urge to smoothen his frowns and run my hands gently on his tense shoulders forces me to look away from him.

As the crowd in the bleachers starts dispersing, I make my way towards Adrian, who leads his team out of the ground. I'm holding on to a thin thread of breaking down, and the only person who can prevent me walks towards me, with equal desperation as if he can see through my façade.

Covered in sweat and dirt, he heads right for me, side-stepping the spectators swirling around him. The exertion from scoring three goals in a single game is visible on his face, but that's what serves as a magnetic pull for the girls who appear to be dazzled by him. The headband makes him look drop-dead gorgeous, in his jersey and athletic shorts. He has always been this charismatic and insanely breathtaking.

He's just an arm's reach away from providing me my dose of comfort when Charlotte sweeps in between us. A knot forms in my stomach as she rises on her tiptoes and places her customary kiss on his cheeks. That kiss burns my throat, my eyes, and practically every inch of my insides. I want to push her away from him, and I'm sure Adrian won't even step in between if I did that. But why would I do that? I'm his friend, and friends shouldn't feel like this if a girl kisses their best friend. I instantly look away and head to the side doors making a hasty exit.

"V!" Adrian's muffled voice echoes through the stomping feet of the crowd and my own heart thudding wildly, but I don't stop until I'm out of the stadium.

I head straight for the washroom and spend the next fifteen minutes inside one of the stalls, letting out all that pain I've held in all this while.

My dad has gone through another test, a biopsy for the tumor. Both my parents hid it from me that there's a chance of cancer. If Daisy hadn't called me in the morning crying over how sick dad has been over a month now and how mom cries every night, I would be living in the dark for another month or maybe till it was too late to conceal. I should be there with my family. They need me. Mom, dad, and Daisy, they're going through their pain without me. I ball my fists in my hair and let the ugly truth settle in.