Dear Augustus | I Never Let Go ✓

21 | No More Running - Part 1

Love never ends.

It's infinite, boundless, and so very immortal.

There's no start or end to your feelings.

Love is messy and vulnerable.

No matter how organized you are

or how strong an individual you are,

it doesn't shield you from falling.

It swallows all the beautiful moments you live in it

and keeps those memories alive for the rest of your life.

Such love will always have something to lose in the end.

But you will love again, you always do.

On my way back to Iowa, I had made up my mind to take it slow, give myself some time or let my heart at ease a bit before meeting the person who makes it go wild. I failed. The moment I reach my room, all the memories, the sweet cuddles, the braiding of hair late at night while watching movies come crashing into my head.

I dump the duffle in my room, and before I can speak myself out of it, I'm pulling my car out of the garage. A thousand unsaid emotions run in my head, laced with apologies and confessions due a lifetime. I close the car and walk to the stairs leading to his apartment with my nerves on high alert, heart thudding, and pulse racing. But all of that evaporates as I pound at his door half a dozen times to no avail until security comes up and tells me Adrian no longer lives there.

After making a fool of myself, I head back to my car and realize Adrian's Harley is missing in the garage. I didn't notice that in my rush to reunite with him. Cursing myself out, I speed back to my place and make a note to get his new address from Noah or Chloe Drake if I have to.

My blood boils every time I open Adrian's profile and look at her blond hair brushing his shoulder. I push the image aside and pull out the phone from my pocket once I'm inside my apartment.

Me: I'm back here. I need to talk to you.

Me: I didn't know you changed apartments. Send me your new address, or I will take it from Noah if not Chloe Drake.

All the years we spent together as friends or more, he never once ignored my calls or messages. But in the last three weeks, he has surpassed his self-control for shutting me off. I'm sure he's reading my texts, and the fact that he hasn't blocked my number tells me I still have hope.

I'm sure he's still hurting. I've seen that on his face through all of his posts and games that I watched two nights back. He doesn't know I'm past my choices and back to him, and maybe even after knowing Adrian might take some time to accept me. Then there's this deep, unsettling fear about his connection with the girl with blond hair and a straight nose.

***

Olivia finally comes home to find me curled up on the couch, the tissues lying on the floor giving her all the answers. I've told her everything about you, Augustus. That's the reason she doesn't ask anything and wraps her arms around me until I finally feel the pain is no more surrounding me.

"Won't you ask me how it went?" I ask her when she doesn't speak for the longest time.

"I'll not force you through the painful memories again. So, yeah, I'm cool not knowing." She says as I turn around to face her. She has a soft, gentle smile itched on her lips.