Begin Again

Chapter Seventeen

*About Six Months Later*

Taylor's POV

I swear we've been trying to get pregnant, we really have.

The first few times a test came up negative, we just sighed with a "not this time, but next time. Next time it'll happen" and that was that. But as the negatives start piling up, it became harder and harder to take. Now we've been going on six months without any sign of a pregnancy, and I can't hardly stand it.

Ed was sitting on the bed, with myself in his lap, facing him. My arms were wound tight around him, crying into his shoulder as a negative pregnancy test sat discarded atop the sheets a few inches away.

"I don't get it! Why does it have to be so hard? You hear all these stories about people getting pregnant on accident, but we're trying and nothing happens! Why can't I just do this one thing?" I clung onto Ed like my life depended on it, and he rubbed my back softly, doing his best to try and calm me down.

"Taylor, I promise, it's all alright, I," I cut him off.

"It's not alright! I know you want this just as bad as I do, and I can't give that to you! What is wrong with me?" When this stuff really got to me, I had a tendency to cut my husband off, something I always immediately regretted. "I'm sorry," I apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I'm so sorry." I buried I my face further into his shoulder, clutching even tighter to him.

"It's alright, love. And don't worry about giving anything to me, okay? Sure, I'd like kids, I know that would be really fantastic and all, but I care more about you, you know that? If you can't have kids, that's alright, it's not the end of the world. I didn't marry you because I was looking for someone who could have kids, I married you for you. I married you because I want to spend every morning with you in my arms, and every day with you at my side. I love you so so much, love, and I'm so sorry this isn't working out the way we want it to. But if this whole pregnancy thing doesn't work, we'll adopt a kid or something, how does that sound?" He offered, and I nodded slowly.

"Good, I guess, but it just...it wouldn't be the same."

"I know it wouldn't, and I'm sorry." He pressed his lips to the back of my head, and I smiled. "What do you say we get you into the doctor's tomorrow, and we'll see what they have to say, okay?" I nodded, hard. Hopefully they knew something we didn't, hopefully they could solve our problem.

"Sounds good," I mumbled, and he kissed me again.

"Now what do you say we forget about all this and we make some dinner? I'm starving." I nodded and he picked me up and carried me all the way downstairs and into the kitchen. I giggled happily, clinging onto him tightly. He set me down in the center of the kitchen, and I immediately looked up to kiss him, my fingers sliding through his bright red hair and his strong hands holding my hips.

"Ed, I love you so much, thank you for being so supportive and calming me down and everything. And I'm really sorry for snapping at you, I shouldn't've done it and I'm so, so sorry," I apologized again, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Of course, I'll always be supportive and be here for you, love, when I said my vows and promised that I'd always be there for you, I swear I really meant it." He placed another kiss to the back of my head. "And it's alright, stop worrying about it, okay? Everyone has things that upset them, and sometimes that stuff just falls out of our mouths. I know you didn't mean it, so please stop worrying about it. I love you too, Swift," he finished, and I perked up.

"Hey!"

"What?" He was confused.

"You can't call me Swift anymore!" I said excitedly. He was still confused. I raised my left hand, waving my ring finger around to show him both the wedding and engagement rings it held. "I'm a Sheeran now!" He laughed.

"How can there be two Sheeran's?" He asked with a smart look on his face.

"Oh, I don't know...maybe I married the best human being ever." We both laughed.

"Well then, I love you too, Sheeran." He corrected himself, and I grinned and giggled.

"Much better."

And although I thought this, I wouldn't say it, even though I knew it was tearing me up: it would be jut that much better if there were three Sheeran's.