Begin Again

Chapter Two

Ed's POV

I sat in the same place, same position, that I have been for the past three days. Clutching onto my fiancé's hand, in a chair beside her hospital bed, hoping and praying with every last ounce of my being that she'll be alright. That's literally all I need, is for her to be okay.

I've been sitting here most of the time for the last three days, in this plastic chair, positioned to see her face. She's looked as if she was just sleeping peacefully, but if she was, this must be the world's longest nap. I've been on edge, unreasonably worrying that every breath she takes will be her last. It's terrifying, the moments in between when she inhales and exhales, and you have no idea if you're going to hear her exhale ever again, it's one of the scariest things I've ever experienced.

Just then, she stirred. "Ta...Taylor?" I asked cautiously, and her eyes fluttered open. "Taylor!" I exclaimed excitedly, bursting into happy tears and throwing my arms around her, clutching her tight. But she squirmed away from me, trying desperately with all of her might to escape me. I pulled away. "Are you alright, love?" I asked cautiously, holding her hand and biting my lip so hard I was almost gnawing a hole through it.

She looked terrified, her eyes wide and horror written all over her face. "Who...who are you? Where are my parents?" She asked, on the verge of tears. She quickly yanked her hand out of my grip, and went to playing with it instead, her nimble fingers quickly finding our engagement ring on her finger.

I was trying so hard to keep it together, to not bawl my eyes out and beg and plead for her to just kiss me like she used to, to try to stay calm and forget the fact that my fiancé is now deathly afraid of me and has no idea who I am. "Taylor, love, it's Ed? Sheeran?" I questioned, seeing if that rang a bell. Devastatingly, nothing. "Your fiancé? We were supposed to get married three days ago, love, do you remember?" She shook her head, eyes still wide as she receded further into the bed in attempt to further distance herself from me, which only made me want to cry even more than before. I motioned to the ring she was now absentmindedly fiddling with. "Do you remember that, darling? How I proposed to you? All the wedding plans we made? Anything at all?" I asked, but again, she timidly shook her head, as if though afraid of me. "Everything Has Changed? Do you remember writing that, love? That was so many years ago, do you remember that?" I asked, but she still shook her head.

"Where...where are my parents?" She asked, and my lip was quivering so much that it took all my self-control to continue to talk with her.

"They're...they're at home...you can call them if you want, your phone's on your nightstand...I...I need to get some fresh air." I told her, and made my way to the door.

"Wait!" She called out, and my heart leapt into my throat. I turned back around hopefully.

"Yeah?" She had her phone in hand.

"I can't...I can't get into my phone, what's the password? I don't remember it, I must've changed it." She asked nervously, and my heart plummeted through the floor.

"Thirteen, seventeen, our favorite numbers, love. What did you think it was?" I asked sadly.

"Twelve, thirteen, for the month and day I was born, December,"

"Thirteenth." We finished in unison, and she was slightly startled.

"Well, uhm....thanks, that's...that's all I needed." She said, and I nodded before quickly bustling out the room, softly shutting the door behind me. I burst into tears once I got into the hall, facing the wall and leaning my head against it, sobbing as I crammed my fists into my pockets and didn't hold any of my tears back. Just three days ago, we were going to be getting married! Now, because I decided to take her out for breakfast, she doesn't remember me at all, and who knows what else. I should've just stayed at home, I should've just baked her pancakes, I shouldn't have gotten up so early in the first place, why the hell didn't I loiter around and take my time getting ready? The more I thought about all this, the harder I cried, the more I realized that if I hadn't just stayed at home then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this and neither would Taylor, and we would be married. Married, for gods sake! But instead, she doesn't even remember me, and she's scared senseless of me because I pulled her into a hug and scared the living day lights out of her, why the hell did I even do that? I should've known she wouldn't have remembered me, I should've just sat there calmly instead of freaking leaping onto her. I hate myself so much right now and I will never forgive myself.