It's Complicated

Seventeen

The room was thick with tension, the atmosphere almost suffocating. Ashwin and Kavya sat at opposite ends of the dining table, finishing up their breakfast. He had stayed over for the night in one of her guest bedrooms, falling asleep much before the party had ended. Now it was January 1st 2023, and the two had spent their morning making pancakes together. It was supposed to be an intimate step in their relationship, but they had barely spoken or interacted. It all felt off.

Ashwin looked at Kavya who was absorbed in answering emails on her phone.

"The party came together well. Nice planning."

"Thanks," she replied without looking up.

"You have so many friends, romba jolly ah irrukanga."

"I know."

He scratched his head, increasingly vexed with her curt replies.

"Is everything fine?"

"100% fine."

He sighed.

"Listen, if something is bothering you just say it. Intha silent tension la ennaku pudikkala."

She finally met his gaze, her eyes annoyed.

"Serious ah na ethukku ipdi pesuren nu theriyatha? Really?"

"Serious ah theriyala."

She set her phone down.

"Yesterday was the first time we hosted a get together-"

"Party. That was no small get together," Ashwin interrupted.

Kavya glared at him.

"Party, whatever. You were absent the entire night. Ennoda friends nee enga nu kettu kettu pathanga, they wanted to meet you and get to know you. But you didn't even try."

"Enna solra? I sat with them for so long."

"Exactly, you just sat there. At least in the beginning you did that, after awhile you were completely gone."

She paused.

"It seems you were with Sivaangi for most of the time."

Ashwin's eyes snapped open, memories flooding at the mention of her name. Something had shifted with her last night and it scared him.

Kavya groaned.

"Listen... I understand you have other connections with people longer and deeper than ours. That's totally fine, I do too. But your relationship with her just confuses me. I can't pretend I don't think about it."

Ashwin didn't have it in him to launch into his usual defense and explanation of their bond.

"First na ava oru chinna ponnu, avaloda cuteness and antics ah rasichu handle pandraru nu nenachen. I couldn't imagine anything else, I mean she's basically a kid! But slowly I saw your side of the equation, and how much importance you give her."

He stayed silent.

"You treat her so different from any girl, including me."

She swallowed slowly, unsure of how to describe her feelings.

I know she wears your watch all the time. The purple one."

"You've gotten me gifts, very nice and tasteful things. But nothing personal like one of your beloved watches."

Ashwin was taken back to the moment when he presented Sivaangi the watch. Her eyes had lit up, and she had jumped up and down like he'd given her a diamond. He loved when she wore it, it was like a piece of him was with her.