It's Complicated

Twenty

Flashback, March 2022

"I asked you to try some fun banter but you didn't even turn in Mahira's direction! I understand you don't want to do these things but it's key for the movie's success."

Ashwin groaned as his PR manager Rahul lectured him on a reoccurring topic, his aversion to mingling with heroines offscreen.

Apparently chemistry and camaraderie in promotions were important for marketing and selling the movie. But he was only an actor when the camera were rolling, he couldn't fake emotions for the sake of it. He seldom tried to forge connections on set, it never felt genuine.

He also prided himself in keeping a respectful distance with women at all times. Besides his innate introvert nature and shyness, he didn't want to allow room for unnecessary misunderstandings. He interacted with female friends, acquaintances and co-workers carefully, he went great lengths to maintain this principle. It was a choice that won him the image of a gentleman, but also drove his team mad at times.

"Mahira told me you brushed off all her attempts at conversation during production. Pesa kooda mudiyatha?"

"Apdi illa Rahul, when I'm on set I'm focused on the script and shots. I don't have time for small talk, only work."

"Then consider these interviews a part of your work, too. Konjam try pannu. Enakkaga?"

Ashwin shrugged, and Rahul rolled his eyes exiting the dressing room. He could only push his tactics to people who listened.

Awhile after Rahul had left, Ashwin could hear a faint conversion between two productions assistants who were clearly unaware that they were standing right outside his room.

"Rahul sir romba tension ah iruntharu la? Paavam da, antha Ashwin ku evlo thimuru? Oru interview la kooda avaroda advice kekka mudiyatha?"

"Apparently avanuku ponnu na othuvaratha."

"But he talks well with that one girl right? The singer? I always see news about them."

"Oh Sivaangi ah? Theriyala ava kooda mattum nalla pazhaguvan."

"Hm etho irrukumo... what does she have that these heroines don't?"

There was a chuckle.

"Irruntha avana thappa solla mudiyathu. Imagine a young, fresh figure unna suthi suthi vantha. Yevanathu chumma irrupana?"

Needless to say, after hearing that last remark he had stormed out in a rage and delivered a strongly worded tirade to the men.

They had been kicked off the set immediately but their words had hit hard.

Did everyone question his equation with her like this? He was comfortable with her for many reasons, in fact many people felt that same comfort with her. She gave him endless support and always understood his actions and feelings. He was grateful and needed her in his life, but there was surely no overarching attraction for her.

She was always childish and up to some antics. She was easily happy, easily sad. He was there for her through these moods, encouraged her to concentrate on her career and was always proud and taken back by her talent and potential.

He doubted he would ever see her more than whatever that was.

Present day, January 2023

Ashwin backed up from where Sivaangi stood, blinking rapidly as he tried to get a grip.

Sirens blared in his head. What was he even doing? This was so unlike him, so irrational. Just hours ago he had been spouting off to Vihaan about protecting her feelings and keeping her away from his complicated self. Now he had given in to desire at the first moment of temptation.

His tightly maintained composure around her was unraveling more and more, and it was wrong. It had only been five days since he'd taken a break with Kavya, and he had no right to cause confusion for Sivaangi. To top it all off, her parents had trusted her to be with him this late and he had crossed that trust.

Despite his regrets he knew his action was intentional, that he had wanted to embrace her in his arms. He couldn't run from the fact that he was attracted to her. So very attracted to her.

He looked to see her standing with apprehension, eyes big and blush heavy on her cheeks like a doll.

He sighed.

Yen di ippadi enna kolra?

"Sorry ma.... na onnum thappa mean pannala."

She hesitated, then gave him a small smile.

"Cha, neenga hug thaana panninga? Athula enna thappu?"

Sivaangi was lying. She had seen the desire on his face, the want towards her that went beyond the hug. It was a stunning revelation, that Ashwin could want her like that. All this time everyone, even her own heart convinced her that he saw her as a friend, papa, co-star anything but a woman. But the fire in eyes was unmistakable, and what a feeling it was to be the object of his passion. She could hardly control her heart from bursting out.

What did this mean? The moment had been mutual, she had desired him as well. But it was a passing exchange, a sudden aligning of circumstance. Still, his distance toward her slipping was impossible to understand, and maybe it signaled something more. But she didn't want to pick it apart and make everything even more awkward than it already was. It was best to pretend. Atleast for now.

"Na sonnala Ashwin, over ah yosikathinganu."

Ashwin stared at her, unable to discern whether her reply was truthful. Did she feel nothing? He knew she placed him on a high pedestal, the example of a morally-right man. Perhaps she was unaware of his hidden wants. Perhaps she didn't even find this moment notable.

"Nee okay thaana ma?"

"Of course na okay thaan! Ippo apdi enna nadanthuchu, huh."

She cleared her throat.

"So... mind ah konjam free ah vidriya? lava cake is waiting to be made Ashwiney!"

Ashwin's mind went back and forth in debate, one side of him wanting to confess his thoughts while the other side chided him knowing he was still deeply confused. It would be against his character to delve into such things following a second of impulsive action. There was too many reasons to keep it to himself, it was best to pretend. Atleast for now.

He sighed.

"Seri, va. But this time I'll get the flour."

Our heroine and heroine on the same page or not? So many hidden thoughts 😅 what did you guys think and what will happen next... please comment your thoughts!