It's Complicated

Twelve

Ashwin Kumar's history, or rather "history" with women was quite pathetic.

He had spent his entire childhood in a boys hostel, locked far away from any kind of girl.

Then in college he was in the mechanical engineering department famous for its overflow of men. By this point his shyness and awkwardness in approaching women had become an innate trait.

He remembers the shock of getting his first love letter two months into college, and the successive burst of female attention that came his way. His friends would tease him, calling him the campus casanavo.

The truth was that he was scared of the sudden interest in him, and had no clue how to handle it. He slowly got used to the staring, whistling and proposals but it never felt right. They were after his looks, he doubted any would be interested in who he was past that.

His first real crush was in his second year on his senior, Aarthi. She was graceful and smart with a warm smile. Aarthi was empathetic to him as she saw how shy he was, and pushed him to make friends. She gave him advice and encouraged him to be confident. When she graduated he laid in bed listening to sad Yuvan songs on his mp3, experiencing not quite heartbreak but certainly disappointment.

A few years later Isabelle entered his life. They did their masters together and bonded while organizing programs for culturals. She was like a fairy, a trained dancer who glided across the stage. He was fascinated by her passion for life. She was the first person he confessed his acting dreams to, and she believed in him. Isabelle taught him to be himself, rather than what people expected. The two never dated, but both had an unspoken attraction. They fell out of touch but he always remembered those memories fondly.

After his move to Chennai, girls were the last thing on his mind. He had fully thrown himself into acting and auditions. Time passed by, and with each year more and more of his friends got married and settled in life. He began to feel left out, like he had done something wrong.

Occasionally he would go to pubs with his friends, sipping a lemonade as random girls would come up and hit on him. He tried to be sociable but most were looking for one night stands or had certain expectations and he was aversely against such attitudes.

He craved romance, and a meaningful connection. He dreamed of how he would treat his girl, how special he would make her feel. But she seemed nowhere to be found.

His insecurities and self-confidence got to such a low that he gave up after a certain point. The years flew by like that.

Now, he'd attained some success and stability but was busy all the time. Yet again there was no room for anyone, anyone until Kavya. Well expect for...

Sivaangi.

He groaned, his mind tired of groveling over this subject.

His actions, his thoughts from last night had thrown him into confusion. What had he been thinking?

Logically, he knew she could handle that situation. But all he could think was to protect her, he was infuriated someone dared to lay a finger on her in his presence.

He could acknowledge he was overprotective when it came to Sivaangi, she was an angel his lucky charm.

In her he saw Aarthi, he saw Isabelle. He saw his mother, he saw his fans. He saw everything good.

He would be lying to himself if he said he was just being decent. He didn't like that a man looked at her in that way. It made some possessiveness rise out of him.

The same feeling he got when Vihaan was near her.
But why?

He didn't even have that feeling toward his own girlfriend.

Flashback, two weeks back.

Kavya and Ashwin were walking back from a date at a coffee shop when she gasped in shock.

"Ashwin, that's the guy! That's the guy who's always creepy to me at work."

He followed Kavya's point to a man who was leaning against a bike staring at her intently.

"He looks at me like a piece of meat, it's so gross. Go over there and confront him. He needs to be taught a lesson."

"Athulam vendam pa, unnecessary problems for us."

"What, why not?"

"You should talk to your HR department. Or police vanthu thaan ivanala handle pannanum."

She held his hand.

"But ennaku bayam ah irruku da."

"You have to be strong! Threatening him or violence is not the answer here."

She looked down.

"You're probably right. I'll figure it out."

Back to present day

He had been so calm. While he had been concerned for Kavya's safety and irritated by the problems women had to face, that possessiveness and blind rage wasn't there.

Suddenly Ashwin was aware of some deeper emotions in his heart that he was numbing himself from. Some thoughts and feelings that terrified him to the point of sealing them away.

Did he have the courage to open that box?

Not today.

Sighing, he got out of his car and walked to his house.

His sister Nivetha and niece Harini had arrived in Chennai this morning, and were staying over for the week. Kavya was coming over for lunch today.

Nivetha opened the door.

"Aiyo enna Ashwin ivlo late ah vaara?! You said you would be back in an hour."

"Sorry ka, neriya vellai irrunthuchu."

"Kavya already vanthuta. Ulla irruka, va."

She leaned in close.

"Avala ennaku romba pudichuriku. Nee oru bake uh, Unnaku eppadi ivlo super aana ponnu kedachuchu?"

He rolled his eyes, then walked into the living area.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

Kavya turned, tightly holding Harini to her chest with a bottle in her hand.

"Hey Ashwin! Finally, you're here."

His heart tugged. She looked like a mother.

For a moment, his confusion swept away and all he could see was the dream of becoming a dad.

This woman was ready for a future with him, ready to complete his life.

Lots of layers and mental conflict for our hero. What do you guys think of the chapter? I hope you can understand how the story is building. Please leave your comments, I love them and it motivates me! 😄