UNLOVING YOU [completed]

ULY #5

I woke up when I felt that wala na akong katabi sa kama. I looked at my side and saw no one. Rhysand is  probably already at his work.

Bumangon ako na may ngiti sa mga labi. Napadako ang tingin ko sa sticky note na nasa mini table rito sa kwarto niya. Kinuha ko ito at binasa.

“I prepared breakfast for you. Vanilla already went to school and I am at the company if you need something.”

Iyon ang nakasulat. I scoffed. Ano kami newlyweds? He shouldn't be this sweet. We are not a thing. O baka naman, akala niya... I shook my head. Stop being assuming, Leur.

I took a shower and dressed myself bago ako bumaba at nag prepare ng sarili kong pagkain. I chose not to eat the meal he prepared for me. After that I prepared my car.

I want to visit her. This would be my first time visiting her.

Nang makarating ako sa cemetery ay sinalubong ako ng malamig na hangin. I slowly sat down at the grass. Wala akong dalang mat at tanging pagkain at bulaklak lang.

I bit my lip as I stared at her gravestone. Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata ko. My nose went red and runny.

“Baby... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not visiting you.” mahinang paghihingi ng tawad ko at hinawakan ang pangalan niya.

Such a beautiful name.

“I am with your father, again. Do you want to meet him?”

Kinuha ko ang paper bag na may laman na dress. It's a white kids' dress that has flowers as the design.

“Look, its for you, love.” inilagay ko ito sa tabi ng lapida niya. “Hmm, binili ko yan 5 years ago.” nakangiting sabi ko.

I was supposed to give it to her as a gift for her first birthday. Pero hindi natuloy. If only that accident didn't happened. We surely have lived together happily.

I started sobbing. It has been five years yet here I am, still mourning and hoping that my baby is alive.

“I want to hold you. I want to feel your warmth, Villanelle.” I whimpered.

After that visit, I decided to fetch Vanilla sa school niya. Well, Rhysand told me to do it because he's busy, so why not fetch his daughter? Of course, I wore a black glasses, so people won't notice me.

“Excuse me, sino po ang hinihintay niyo?” magalang na tanong ng babae sa akin. I looked at her. She's probably a teacher based on her uniform.

“I'm waiting for Vanilla Velarde.” I said.

Lumiwanag ang mukha niya. “Oh, are you her mother?” she asked.

Ngiti lang ang naging tugon ko sakaniya. I can't say I am and I also can't say I am not. It's safer to just smile as the answer.

“Mommy!!”

Pareho kaming napalingon ng biglang may batang tumakbo papalapit sa amin. I smiled when I saw Vanilla running towards me, wearing her school uniform while holding her lunchbox.

Mabilis na niyakap niya ang beywang ko. I stroke her hair and she tilted her head up and smiled at me.

“You came! You came!” she squealed.

I caressed her face and tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Uhumm, how's school?” I asked as we started walking.