UNLOVING YOU [completed]

ULY #12

Daughter

I picked the paper out of curiosity and unfold it. Hindi ko alam pero bigla nalang ako nakaramdam ng kaba at higpit sa dibdib ko. It's just a piece of paper so why is my heart racing so fast like a horse?

My forehead creased while reading what's written on the long bond paper. Para akong nabagsakan ng langit dahil sa nabasa.

Vanilla's Birth Certificate

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa pangalan na naka ukit doon. My name is written on her birth certificate as the Mother.

Natulala ako ng ilang minuto. I feel a tear drop on my cheek. How come my name is the one written as the mother of Vanilla?

I am not her mother. She's not my daughter. Anak siya sa ibang babae ni Rhysand. So why? Bakit ang pangalan ko ang nakalagay?

I was deeply thinking what's the reason. Nang may nakita akong litrato niya sa tabi kaya kinuha ko iyon. I stared, scrutinizing the picture of Vanilla, who's holding a teddy bear. Doon ko lang napansin na magkamukha kami. She looks like my younger self. She looks like me when I was  around her age.

I remember, she said to me that she hates carrots when it's cooked, ayaw ko rin sa carrots na luto. At ang naramdaman ko noong niyakap niya ako sa flower shop, my heart warmed that time. It feels like my heart was longing. A small detail about us that I didn't notice. How come I, how come I didn't notice that? How come I didn't think of that?

Hindi ko na mapigilag umiyak ng mapagtanto ang lahat. Vanilla is my daughter. I was the one who gave birth to her. At hindi ko na kailangan mag pa DNA pa kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na anak ko siya. I can feel it. I can feel it whenever we are together. I can feel it every time she hugs me, everytime na sasabihin niya sa akin na mahal niya ako pero hindi ako sumasagot pabalik.

My daughter was just right next to me. I regretted it. I regretted ignoring her I love you's and not saying I love you too to her.

“Darling, hinanap kita sa baba pero hindi kita nakita. Nandito ka lang pala.”

Umangat ang tingin ko sa bagong kakapasok na si Rhysand. He's still wearing his business suit and a very wide smile. Nagalakad siya papalapit sa akin at napahinto sa harap ko ng matanto ang mukha kong namamaga ang mga mata.

“Are you okay love? Bakit ka umiyak ha? Did someone hurt you?” nataranta niyang tanong, hinawakan ang mukha ko. He looked at me with worried face and wiped my tears.

Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niya at ibinaba ito. I stared at him before my palm landed on his face. Rinig ang tunog ng kamay ko nang tumama ito sa mukha ni Rhysand. Napangiwi siya at napahawak sa labi niya. He looked at me, nanlalaki ang mga mata. Hindi makapaniwala sa ginawa ko.

“Ilang taon na si Vanilla?” I asked.

He look at me bedazzled. Kahit naguguluhan man ay sinagot niya pa rin ang tanong ko. “She's 5,” he answered.

5? So I was right. She is my daughter. But how? How? They let me see the baby fivw years ago, and I saw it. I saw that it didn't move. I was there when we held the funeral. I was holding the baby in my arms that time.

“Is she my daughter?” tanong ko, gustong malaman ang totoo galing sakaniya.

He looked stunned. Napako siya sa kinatatayuan niya at hindi maka galaw.

“Don't dare lie to me, Rhysand. Answer my question, is Vanilla my daughter?” may diin sa boses na tanong ko.

Nakita ko kung paano tumaas-baba ang adams apple niya. I can sense that he is scared and nervous.