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Dear Aspen,
You didn't just die. You were killed. You were killed by all of us. We all have your blood on our hands. We will all be haunted by your death. But they will suffer the most. I will make sure of it.
I couldn't save you but I'll be damned if I don't avenge you.
Sirius Black
SIRIUS BLACK
"Just apologize at least." Remus said to me. "I will but I don't understand-" I started. "I don't care. She's a marauder and she's important to us. So fix this." James snapped. We had been arguing about this for half an hour now so we were all a bit on edge. "Fine. Let's go." I said. "Finally. We missed dinner!" Peter said. We all got up and left our dorm. Then we went downstairs.
"Aspen!" I called out as I walked down the stairs. I got to the common room and looked around. "I thought you told her to stay put," James said. Then I saw her. Her chestnut hair sprawled out on the floor in front of the couch. "Aspen, I'm sorry for what I-" I started as I walked over. Then I saw it. Blood. She was laying on the floor, with her eyes open but dull. There was blood on her chin and tears on her face. "What the fuck!" Peter exclaimed. I dropped to my knees and shook her gently. "Aspen-" I whispered. I moved the hair from her face and laid my head on her chest. Nothing. "She's not breathing!" I yelled. "What?!" James yelled. "She's not breathing!" I shouted. I shook her harder and her body was limp. "Aspen, wake up! Open your eyes, god damn it!" I screamed. I gathered her in my arms as tears poured down my face. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. "Peter, go get Madame Pomfrey!" Remus said. Peter ran out and I gathered Aspen in my arms and held her. "What happened? What happened?" I sobbed. "What's going on?" I heard Lily ask from behind me. People had begun to file in from dinner and James and her immediately took over. "Get the kids to their dorms. Now!" James yelled. Remus took the boys and Lily took the girls. Soon the common room was empty. But all I could focus on was Aspen.
I pulled her body against my chest and buried my face in the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry" I cried. I was shaking and sobbing. "I'm so sorry." I said, over and over. "We came back and she wasn't breathing-" Peter said as he came rushing in with Madame Pomfrey. I felt Remus's hand on my shoulder and I heard him speak. "Madam Pomfrey's here," he said. I laid her down, keeping her head laid on my knees. Madam Pomfrey knelt in front of her and pressed a hand to her chest. Then she looked at me and I knew. "She's gone." she said quietly and in disbelief. She closed Aspen's eyes and I exhaled a shaky breath. I pulled her back into my arms and muffled my sobs. I just sat there holding her. I could hear Remus explaining what happened, I heard Dumbledore and McGonagall come in, I heard Lily and James return, I heard everything. But I didn't let go of her. I held her body in my arms. Then Professor McGonagall came over.
"Sirius, dear. It's time to let her go. Madame Pomfrey has protocols and she-" she started. "Not yet. I can't. Please. Just let me go with her." I said. "You don't want-" she began. "She died all alone. Because of me! I'm not leaving her until I have to." I said. She looked at Dumbledore and he nodded. I picked her up and carried her all the way to the infirmary. James, Lily, Remus and Peter followed us. Her head rested against my shoulder the whole way. I placed her on a cot and put up privacy blinders. Then I sat next to her and held her hand. It was cold. Her hands used to be so warm. It always made me feel safe. Now it was cold. She laid a sheet over her body and I couldn't see her anymore. I couldn't see her. Then Madam Pomfrey began her tests and we all just sat there, silent. "Oh my!" she exclaimed. "What? What happened?" James asked. "I'll be gone for a moment," she said. She went and spoke to Dumbledore and McGonagall and then they returned. "You're all sure she was hurt before she returned to the common room, correct?" Dumbledore asked. "Yeah, she came in and she looked a bit worn. We were going to help her but-" Remus started. "But we were too late," James finished. "Why? What happened to her?" I asked. They all exchanged strange looks, as if they weren't sure if they should tell us this."We just lost our best friend, if you know something, you better tell us!" I yelled at them. "Sirius-" Lily said quietly. "She died of internal bleeding. Caused by a spell-induced trauma" Madam Pomfrey said. "What does that mean?" Remus asked. "What spell?" I asked. "It seems she was hit with a spell and the force of it cracked her ribs. This caused her chest cavity to fill with blood." she said. "You're saying she drowned in her own blood?" I said as tears filled my eyes again.
