Dear Scott..

January 12

It has been about 2 days since I last wrote in this journal. I am sitting here with my journal and a pencil in my hand. The ground is cold and wet, since it rained last night, but I don't care. The sun shines above a branch through the tall trees that tower over me. A rainbow has formed. My mother would always take pictures of the rainbows that would appear in the sky above my house. My father would always be annoyed by her, but still hold her close and love her with all that he has, just because he was lovely and caring like that. I wish we could be like that, Scott. It makes me upset that my parents would never even approve of it. My dad never yelled like he did the night my mom told him I was gay. It hurt me like a bullet.

I just got back. I went for a walk. I guess I needed to get things off of my mind, you know? It wasn't a pleasant walk though. I saw Ryan, you know your best friend? I walked through part of the woods near a grocery store, apparently close enough that people could recognize my identity. He approached me and yelled towards my direction. I had no idea why he was even talking to me. I didn't know he even knew my name until he called to me.

"Hey, Mitch! Is that you?"

"Yes it is," I laughed, "Ryan right?"

"Yes, indeed! Where have you been? You haven't been at school.." he stopped and looked me over at my unclean clothing and the dirt that covered my hair and red face. "Are you okay? Ha ha, you look a bit wound up, buddy. Anyways, I was with Scott when Megan mentioned you to him that one day. Heard you wanna be friends with him, huh?"

"Well, yeah I guess. I-I  mean he seems like a uh.. a cool guy."

"Woah what's up with you about Scott?" I looked down. I felt like I was making the fact that I liked you extremely obvious. I needed to walk away before something was revealed.

"N-Nothing," I started blushing, but I just couldn't help it! You make me feel a certain way and when your name is mentioned directly towards me, I lose it.

"Mitch? D-Do you like him?"

"I have to go." I stated firmly and started walked away from Ryan.

"Oh my god! Mitch, I thought you were completely straight! And what makes this even better is that your crush is on my best friend!" he started laughing at me and I could tell clearly that he was making fun of me with his words.

"Don't worry! I won't tell anyone, but Scott and uhhhh the whole fucking school you little fag!" That was it! I ran into the woods once more and worked my way towards the forest I was "living" in. Tears streamed down my face and I didn't bother to wipe them away. I was too focused on going.. wherever the hell I could, just away from there!

If I actually wanted to go back, now I can't. Everyone will know my 2 biggest secrets! If only I wasn't such a damn faggot.