Dear Scott..

January 14 (Part 2)

I pulled away. Not because I didn't want you lips pressed against mine, I did, but I was very confused. The most popular guy at my school turns out to be gay and stood there making out with me. It almost seemed unrealistic. Probably because I never saw any of this coming..at all.

"Did I do something wrong?" You asked. I almost felt bad that I pulled away. You looked disappointed. But how did I know that this wasn't an act or some sort of sick prank to make fun of me even more than I already have been made fun of. Although this time, it would be from someone I love. That is the only thing that would hurt the most at this point. I attempted to swallow those frightening feelings and look back up into your gorgeous eyes. Your eyes showed fear though. It was like you actually felt something for me.

"No, no, Scott. You did absolutely nothing wrong.." I tried to spit out, "this is all just so unexpected."

"Well, what did you think was going to happen once I found out? Bully you?  Bombard you with gay jokes?"

"Sorta.."

"Oh my gosh, Mitch. No, I would never even think of doing that to you. You have too much potential, you mean too much to me for me to just cut you off and judge you by your sexuality. I mean..I am gay too," he laughed and for the first time since I got there, I relaxed. I laughed too. I stood there awkwardly, hoping he would say something more because my mind was blank.

"Listen, I know this all happened fast. No one can know about us. I will allow us to be a couple or whatever, but I can't let this get around to anyone other than the two of us, got it?"

"I don't even know who I would tell. I am not going back to that school. Ever." I paced back and fourth about three times and then hesitantly sat on the curb that the in front of me. I laid my head in my hands and sighed heavily, holding back tears.

"You need to come back Mitch. You cant live like this."

"Yeah, right, okay, so where the fuck am I supposed to live Scott?" I sobbed. "My parents disowned me and it was spread everywhere that I like you and that I am gay. I can't go anywhere but the woods."

"At least come live with me for a few days." Your voice was so calm and angelic at that moment. Someone was inviting me into their house, finally. I've been kicked out so many times the past week, it felt weird to actually be welcomed somewhere. I almost forgot the feeling until that moment.

I now am sitting here in the forest, thinking. You invited me over and were probably waiting for me to arrive any second now, but I was deciding. Maybe it is too risky. Maybe I should stay here and stop throwing pity at others for help. Maybe I should go. I don't even know at this point. Tears are streaming down my face. The feeling is unimaginable. I've been invited but yet I still don't feel welcome.

I'm going to your house tomorrow morning! You actually texted me worried! This is crazy oh my gosh. I'm going to get some sleep. I absolutely cannot wait for tomorrow morning to come! I hope it comes soon!