Dear Scott..

January 17 (Part 2)

You're getting ready for the party. I am sitting here wanting to back out of this whole damn thing. I'm not exactly sure why I decided to go to this place. I don't know anyone there and even if I saw people from my school the only thing they'd do is pick on me. I defended myself before, but with so many people watching in a small house, I don't think I could do that again. You'll be there though. You promised me you would be.

You look so good. You're wearing slightly baggy jeans and a plain white t-shirt. To top it all off, you're wearing a snap-back that covers almost all of your hair. I had to sit and stare at you for a few moments. You just looked so different. God, I am so in love with you. I hope you know that. I'm not sure if you feel the same way about me, but I just want you to know how much I truly care for you.

I stand quickly after you snap me out of it. I don't look like you do. I am wearing skinny jeans, a sweater, and boots. You told me it was a good look for me so I took it under consideration.

"You okay?" You asked me politely, grabbing my hand. My eyes locked with our connected hands and our entwined fingers. I looked up into your eyes to find them staring back at me.

"Yes, I am fine," I was kind of lying. I was terrified to go out tonight, but I couldn't let you know that. You smiled anyways.

"Good. Shall we get going?"

I nod.

That's all I have the strength to do. You notice my uneasy feeling by my actions and you step closer to run the back of your hand on my cheek to calm me down.

"Everything is going to be okay," you reassure me, "and if it's not, you can punch me." You laugh. I pull away to hide my smile.

"You're such a dork."

"The one and only."

"My one and only." I bite my lip and look down.

"You're correct. Now, smile and let's head over to the party, yeah? You'll have a blast."

I nod again and we walk out of the bedroom, holding hands. I glance down to our hands and smile to myself. I'm so glad I have you.

The car ride to the party was quiet. It was a comfortable silence, although it felt like something was hanging over our heads that needed to be discussed. However, it seems as if we both ignored it. When we arrived to the party, I was about to pass out. My head was pounding and I found it harder and harder to breathe once we got closer. The party moved outside in the front yard and I saw girls running around in bikinis. Every guys' dream...except mine. I keep forgetting how different I am. I just want to try and stay out of trouble at this fucking place.

We got out of the car and my heart was beating fast. I looked down at your hand and attempted to grab it but you pulled away. You weren't looking at me or in my direction, so I just assumed you didn't realize it.

I walked past a few people who were passed out on the cold ground and stepped over them with caution. Trying not to pay attention to the two couples basically having sex on the front porch, I looked over at you, but you were staring at the door. It amazed me that you were completely oblivious to everything going on around us. Although it confused me quite a lot. One of the couples stopped and stared at us when we arrived at the front door. Well, they stared at me. They didn't give you a second glance.

The scent of alcohol was clear in the air once we stepped inside the large house and I automatically wished I had stayed outside. Lights were flashing and the music was loud enough to not hear my thoughts. I felt sick when I saw a woman stripper near the back of the house giving the horny men a show. Why did you even want to come here, Scott?

"Hey Scotty!" I turned around when I heard the voice. Two men walked up to you and fist bumped you. After greeting you, the one nodded his head towards me.

"Why did you bring the fag? Do you guys have a 'thing' going on?" He laughed loudly, causing bystanders to join in. You just stood there with a puzzled look on your face and I can only imagine what my face looked like. I wondered why you weren't standing up for me like you did that day at school. Have things changed that much within the past few days?

"Okay I can see this is a conflict and I'd rather not get involved in your faggot fight," they laughed again. You were friends with this dude? He's a real pain in the ass.

"Here kid, take a drink," the other man handed me a red cup. I stared at it.

"He doesn't drink, Lane." You said before I was in another awkward situation.

"Tonight I do," I bravely took the cup, "thank you."

The look of fear and concern was shown on your face, but I could hardly see it through the even bigger look of amusement on your face. I wasn't going to let you control me tonight. This will probably spark a huge fight when we get back to your flat, but I couldn't care less at the moment.

I walked away to find something to do. Everyone was dancing around so I decided to join in. I eased my way into the huge crowd and tried to fit in. Soon, I was dancing with a few people. I wouldn't call them my "friends" but they didn't seem to recognize me as the "gay" kid. It was nice to get an escape.

Cups and cups later, the alcohol started to hit me. I found out I had a high tolerance for a few hours, but then it hit me like a bullet. I've never even drank vodka before and now I am at this insane party. Drunk. I needed to find you before this got out of hand. I could feel my heartbeat practically beating out of my chest while I pushed my way through the crowd, past all the sluts throwing themselves at me. Past all the guys handing me cups. I just needed you.

"Excuse me?" I finally got ahold of myself to speak to someone, "do you know where I can find Scott Hoying?"

"Aye! You lookin' for my boy Scotty? Yeah he's over there in that extra room with some hot lady." He winked at me and I felt my heart drop to the pits of my stomach. You're with a girl? In a room? Alone? I must be dreaming. Or overreacting? I thanked the man and cautiously stumbled in the direction he showed me you went in.

I didn't know how I was still conscious.

I found a single room and opened it. Nothing. I found a bathroom and opened it. Nothing. I traveled back the hallway and found two more bedrooms. I opened the one and you were in bed, on top of some girl...kissing her. My mind was racing. Who the fuck was she?

"Scott..."

You looked up at me standing at the doorway as you practically watched my heart being ripped out of my chest.

"Mitch." You had nothing to say.

The girl just stared at both of us, confused. I was as confused as she was. I just shook my head and walked out of the room.

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I hope you guys like this chapter. Please don't hate me! Ahahaha. Comment reactions. Thanks for reading!!! -Ray