Dear Scott..

January 14

I just woke up from a long sleep. I don't even remember falling asleep. The sun shined through the trees and refreshed my face.. although it couldn't refresh my thoughts and feelings. I wish it could. All I can think about is last night and how affected I felt by it. How serious you were when you said you wanted to meet me today. I was deciding if I should even take your word for this and meet you. I maybe should just stay away. Stay here and don't leave. That would make everything better wouldn't it? Maybe. Maybe not. I can't think straight anymore.

I just got back from a walk. I walked through the woods, not recognizing my location. I didn't even know where I was going or why. I let the sky be my guide. It was as blue as the ocean I have once seen last summer. I wished I was there now and then. It hurt me to think I could never go back. I had no money. I had no family. I had no life. Not anymore. Nevertheless, I kept walking.

I now sit here in silence. It started to rain 10 minutes ago and hasn't stopped. It scared me because I had nowhere to take cover. It's getting pretty bad as the dark clouds appear above my head. I'm just a kid in the forest.. I can't save myself from it. I'm going to find shelter, hang on Scott.

I'm out of breath. Scott I know you probably remember this day, maybe not, I don't know! Let me tell you what happened, oh my god:

-I walked around looking for shelter obviously, I told you that part. I didn't even know where I was going and honestly, I didn't care at that point because the storm was better worse by the second. I looked up a few times and lightening lit the sky that was once blue earlier in the day. I remember following the path of the blue sky, in search of an adventure of any kind. Now, I couldn't follow the sky. The most I needed it. I walked over to a nearby roof I saw up ahead. I was thankful for my discovery. I wasn't completely comfortable, but it beat walking around in the rain. I stood there for good 20 minutes, waiting for the rain to stop. However, that didn't seem like it was happening any time soon. I felt a cold yet strong hand grab onto my shoulder from behind.

I turned around and I could hardly believe my eyes! You stood behind me! I looked above me and found the reason. The roof I was standing under was connected to the school. I breathed in nervously and turned fully around to meet your eyes staring back at me. They hypnotized me until I could finally bring myself to say just a simple hello to you. However, it was a challenge.

"Hi Scott," I forced out after awhile of us staring at each other.

"Hiya, Mitch! How have you been?" You gave me a half smile.

"I've honestly had better days, yourself?"

"Listen, Mitch. I'm not here to talk about me. There's obviously more important things we need to discuss." I was embarrassed. How was I supposed to face you as I tell you about my secret love for you? It was very close to impossible.

"I know we do and I know you saw all the comments and about what Ryan posted about me. I know there's a part of you that is shocked and another part that probably hates my guts. Before we get into this conversation too much, I just want to personally sincerely apologize with everything I have. I just..."

"Mitch calm down. First of all, don't apologize for your feelings. Your feelings are important. They tell you right from wrong for what is best for you."

"I guess. But, Scott , they are hurting you and.."

"Second.." You started again. I breathed in and tried to be patient and listen while you finished.

"I don't mind it." The words rolled off your tongue so gracefully. It stopped me mid-sentence.

"What?"

"I guess you could say I have been unfair to you in the past. I actually.. don't mind if you stare after me. I don't mind if you tell your friend.. what's her name? Megan? I don't mind if you tell her all about me. I don't mind if you get a strange feeling talking to me Mitch." Your eyes sparkled through the storm and made a rainbow in my mind, even though the storm was getting much worse every second.

"What.. I mean... why don't you mind? I know it's a shock that I am gay, but you don't need to pretend anything just because I like you.. Maybe in love with you."

You laughed. "You don't get it do you?" You turned away, licked your lips with a smile, and turned back to look into my eyes once more. "I'm gay too." You looked at me intensely and grabbed my face, leaning in to forcefully kiss me.